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HE IS SCURRED OF MUSLIMS.


It's a day, so Ted Cruz is being a dick. Monday morning, he told a gay man at a town hall in New York how much he loves religious liberty, and how it applies to EVERYBODY, including Christians, Jews, atheists, and even Muslims. But apparently, in Cruz's mind, that liberty doesn't extend to the freedom to meet with one's senator.

What had happened was: Monday, the U.S. Council of Muslim Organizations (USCMO) hosted a to-do in Washington called the National Muslim Advocacy Day, for the second year in a row. Just like any other lobbying day, it was a thing where Muslims go to meet with their senators and their congresscritters and speak of their concerns. Totally normal! And according to the USCMO, they met with a third of the House and half the Senate.

But definitely not Ted Cruz:

Earlier today, 14 Texas Muslim delegates to the National Muslim Advocacy Day on Capitol Hill tried to meet with either Sen. Cruz or a member of his congressional staff, but were told no one would meet with them. The delegates had tried to arrange a meeting for several weeks prior to today's event.

Rude! It's probably because they were there to do Sharia law to everybody, right? That sure seems to be the belief of whackjob insane man Frank Gaffney, who as Right Wing Watch explains, is a "notorious anti-Muslim conspiracy theorist." He's also one of Teddy's foreign policy advisers. (For more on Frank Gaffney and what A Asshole he is, read Buzzfeed's excellent report on how Muslims used to love living in Tennessee, but now they don't, partialily because of people like Frank Gaffney.)

Let's read his very stupid column in The Hill about how Monday's event was ACTUALLY Muslim Brotherhood Appreciation Day:

The USCMO is the latest in a long series of front organizations associated with, and working to advance, the agenda of the Muslim Brotherhood in the United States.

Uh oh! You see, there is a memo, written by a Muslim Brotherhood dude, and it says exactly how groups like the USCMO are going to infiltrate America and turn it into the caliphate and kill America dead. This, according to Gaffney, is their plan:

[T]he memo describes in detail the Muslim Brotherhood's favored technique for accomplishing its stated goal of "destroying Western civilization" — at least until such time as they are strong enough to use violence decisively: "civilization jihad." This sort of jihad involves employing stealthy, subversive means like influence operations to penetrate and subvert our government and civil society institutions.[...]

With the launch of the U.S. Council of Muslim Organizations in March 2014, the Muslim Brotherhood has secured a new instrument for its subversion: a self-described U.S. "political party" meant to dominate and mobilize Muslim voters across the country and get them marching according to one plan. The object is to elicit support for the Muslim Brotherhood's demands from candidates and to help achieve what the Islamic supremacists would regard as favorable outcomes in the 2016 elections.

TRICKY TRICKY! And for real, if you read the USCMO's press release, you will see the thinly veiled jihad and falafel contained in their lobbying goals:

  • Support for House and Senate resolutions recognizing and condemning Islamophobia.
  • Support legislation that enables individuals to build a credit history without taking on credit debt.
  • Support legislation that promotes greater access to fresh fruit, vegetables and other healthful whole foods in impoverished areas.
  • Address American Muslim community concerns regarding the oversight, management and approach of federal Countering Violent Extremism (CVE) programs.

WHOA, DID YOU SEE IT? Wait, you didn't?

OK so you have to get rid of Islamophobia, so the Muslim Brotherhood can do its subversive "take over America" thing. The thing about credit card debt is important because even scary Muslims listen to Suze Orman. Fruits and vegetables for poor people? PFFFFT TERROR-DOERS GOTTA EAT. And they support Countering Violent Extremism because of taqiyyah, which is the Muslim thing where they're allowed to lie to infidels so they can jihad them! (N.B. That is what American wingnuts believe taqiyyah maeans. It is not what taqiyyah means.)

[wonkbar]<a href="http://wonkette.com/599898/ted-cruz-furious-with-syrian-refugee-babies-for-attacking-brussels-like-that"></a>[/wonkbar]Anyway, these are Ted Cruz's own Texan constituents who want to meet with him. You think he'd care, hahaha no you wouldn't. He and his boy Gaffney are a-scurred of the Islamics, boy howdy! All you need to see is Cruz's plan for patrolling Muslim neighborhoods and read all the gross things he has to say about Syrian refugee babies, to know that he is a fucking bigot who should never be president of his own punchable face, much less America.

[Right Wing Watch / The Hill]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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Republicans are devouring each other's carcasses, and we are here for it! Especially when one of those Republicans is King Kris of the Kansas Votefucker Klan ... errr, Clan! It's been a week since Kansans cast their votes in the gubernatorial primary, and the GOP looks to be rolling up its sleeves for a slugfest.

As we type, Kobach leads by 298 votes out of more than 314,000 cast -- a whopping 0.00095 percent, if you round up! The Kansas GOP begged Donald Trump to stay out of the race and leave the field clear for sitting governor Jeff Colyer, who took over when Sam Brownback wandered off to bring Jesus to the Hottentots on behalf of the US government. Safe bet that Colyer would be gearing up for the general election now if President Twitterthumbs hadn't flapped his yap. So thanks for that, Donny!

No, really, THANKS!

Remember the hanging chad debacle in Florida? Now picture it in a landlocked state with more cows than people. It's like fantasy island for Devin Nunes, ALLEGEDLY.

Oh, but we are to kid!

After first insisting he wasn't going to recuse from the counting, Secretary of State Kris Kobach (one and the same!) wrote Colyer a fabulously bitchy letter agreeing to hand off the tabulation to his deputy, Eric Rucker. Colyer had made the shocking suggestion that Kobach delegate responsibility to the Kansas attorney general, rather than his own political appointee, and Kobach was stretched out on the settee with a fit of the vapors at the gross impropriety of it all!

I will not breach the public trust and arbitrarily assign my responsibilities to another office that is not granted such authority by the laws of Kansas.

After several anguished paragraphs, Kobach closed by remonstrating that Colyer was betraying his office by destroying the faith of Kansans in the sacred integrity of their electoral process.

As governor of Kansas, your unrestrained rhetoric has the potential to undermine the public's confidence in the election process. May I suggest that you trust the people of Kansas have made the right decision at the polls and that our election officials will properly determine the result as they do in every election.

Said the guy whose entire adult life has been dedicated to whipping up panic about millions of imaginary illegal alien voters.

So now these two princes can kick the crap out of each other WITH VOTES, specifically, provisional ballots cast by unaffiliated voters under the supervision of poorly trained poll workers. Kansas holds closed primaries, meaning only registered Republicans can vote to select the GOP candidate, BUT an unaffiliated voter can cast a vote by checking a box identifying as a Democrat or a Republican at the polling place. This was news to some poll workers, who mistakenly directed over one thousand unaffiliated voters to use provisional ballots without checking the box indicating party preference. Whoops!

So, will those provisional ballots be counted based on voter intent? Or tossed based on strict interpretation of the statute? And does Kansas law mandate tossing mail-in ballots that arrive without a postmark on Wednesday, since there's no forensic proof that they were mailed before midnight on Tuesday? And how disgusted will the Kansas electorate be when one of these assholes emerges from the melée holding the other one's scalp? And how many millions of dollars are going to be spent on litigating the Republican primary while this nice lady Laura Kelly, the Democratic minority whip of the Kansas Senate, is out campaigning for November?

Even before this debacle, Kobach looked significantly weaker against Kelly than Colyer, with self-funded Libertarian Jeff Orman threatening to throw a wrench in the works. The Wichita Eagle reports on a Remington Research Poll conducted in July:

In a Kelly-Orman-Kobach race, the poll puts Kelly and Kobach effectively in a dead heat — 36 percent for Kelly and 35 percent for Kobach, with Kelly's lead within the margin of error. Orman has 12 percent.

Colyer leads in a three-way race with Kelly and Orman, according to the poll. In that scenario, Colyer receives 38 percent of the vote, while Kelly gets 28 percent and Orman receives 10 percent.

Which is ONE POLL, in a deeply red state, but ... Kobach is a crap candidate who's likely to emerge from this fight with two black eyes and a pissed off base. If there's anyone who can blow this election, it's Kris Kobach.

Keep fighting, Kris! You can do it! (And now we need a shower.)

And YOU need an OPEN THREAD!

Follow your FDF on Twitter!

Money us, PLEASE! Throw a tip in the jar, or click here to keep your Wonkette snarking forever.

[Kobach letter / Wichita Eagle / Mother Jones / Kansas City Star]

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While most people spent this weekend telling Nazi punks to fuck off, a couple 11-year-olds were in Las Vegas hacking into voting machines. Why? BECAUSE IT'S FUN!

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