Ted Cruz Supports Gun Control, To Protect Ted Cruz
Hey, Ted Cruz, what's your next cool fundraiser idea? Wow, a chance for some lucky gun-humping donor to go shootin' with the senator? That sounds like more fun than staying up all night playing RISK with Rand Paul! Funny thing though; the contest requires that the winner be able to pass a background check. It's in the fine print, which specifies that the "Sponsor" of the sweepstakes -- the Cruz campaign -- must verify that Ted Cruz will be at least nominally safe with his brand new huntin' buddy:
Sponsor may, at its option, conduct a background check on each potential winner. Sponsor reserves the right to disqualify any potential winner from receiving the Prize based on such background check if Sponsor determines, in its sole discretion that awarding the Prize to such potential winner could result in a safety or security risk to any person or persons or could result in the disruption of any event associated with the Promotion. Sponsor will, in its sole discretion, then select one (1) winner from the list of eligible potential winners on the basis of criteria determined and applied by Sponsor to provide for an appropriate range of views, backgrounds, and interests among the winners selected.
That's even more exclusive than the expanded background checks for gun shows and private sales that Ted Cruz helped to kill in the Senate after Sandy Hook. Then again, he's got to be concerned with his personal safety, which is very different from the safety of people who aren't Ted Cruz.
We wonder if Cruz's exciting contest might create a little bit of friction between the senator and one of his political BFFs, Larry Pratt, the head of Gun Owners of America (GOA). That's the group so raving mad about the right to bear arms, it makes the NRA look like a chapter of Moms Demand Action. Pratt thinks it's perfectly acceptable to talk about shooting members of Congress, since that's why we have a Second Amendment anyway. More recently, Pratt said Barack Obama is exactly the kind of guy the Second Amendment was "designed for." How much does Ted Cruz love Pratt and the GOA? Enough that in a May 27 speech, Cruz thanked Pratt's coterie of gun-frottageurs for their critical support in getting him into the Senate. Ah, but do Pratt and his wingnusts know about that background check thing?
In a "Tele-Town Hall" for Gun Owners Of America, Cruz told the rabid gun-stroking loons that they were just the bestest Americans of all:
And here we thought that Tele-Town Hall was where Tinky Winky and Laa Laa went to vote. Ted told the GunTubbies that he shared their concerns for the imminent danger that Barack Obama poses to the Constitution and the Second Amendment, and also thanked them for all the hard work they've done on his behalf:
Let me start by just saying thank you to all the men and women of Gun Owners of America. GOA endorsed me early on when I ran for the Senate and played a critical part in helping get me elected and sending me from the state of Texas to represent 27 million Texans and to stand up and to fight for our rights and I'm grateful to be with each of you because the men and women on this call are fighters, you are men and women of action, you are patriots, and this is the time when that is exactly what is needed in our country.
If anyone in U.S. America is a true patriot, it's Larry Pratt, who shoots freedom and liberty out of his mouth all the time. A few days after Cruz embraced the GOA, Pratt did his own hard work for liberty, explaining on a rightwing radio show that it's time -- like it has been every day since January 2009 -- to take America back, by force if necessary, because the Government wants to take away our constitutional right to shoot through bulletproof vests:
ROGER FREDINBURG, HOST: I think the next revolution is going to start and be won by people with rifles and Leupold [brand] scopes. I don't think it's going to be won by guys in the trenches with machetes.
PRATT: We figured that that was kind of what they were up to and the Second Amendment was designed for people just like the president and his administration. And, yes, if The New York Times and the Rolling Stone and whoever else wants to have a hissy-fit, yes our guns are in our hands for people like those in our government right now that think they want to go tyrannical on us, we got something for 'em. That's what it's all about. The Second Amendment is not about hunting, it's not about target shooting, it's about Democrats who want to take our rights.
That was pretty nice of the Founders to anticipate that Democrats need to be shot. Smart guys, they were. We aren't quite sure they'd all agree with Pratt's worries about an imminent race war, but some of them probably would be on the same page as him with that one, too, considering the number of slave owners among them.
So far, we haven't seen any of Pratt's prats calling for Ted Cruz to be culled for his betrayal of the Second Amendment by demanding a background check, but it seems like the sort of thing they might be a tad displeased with, no?
And yes, we know, selecting a shootin' pal for a presidential candidate is very different from general laws on firearms ownership, and we even had some qualms about suggesting that Ted's "background checks for my armed pal but not for your armed neighbor" was in anyway hypocritical -- after all, we just rolled our eyes when the NRA griped that Barack Obama refuses to let his kids get shot like regular people. But since Ted is actually embracing the "let's shoot the government" folks, this does seem different, somehow. Discuss among yourselves.
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.