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Quite a pickle!


[contextly_sidebar id="44BKMDYDQ7yCDlXhjog6PNtdmUnD8inO"]Two or nine or five and a half Republican debates ago, all the little not-Trump GOP candidates pledged they would support whoever their party's nominee is, even if it is nasty, terrifying, tremendous, tic-tac-dick Donald Trump. Ted Cruz specifically said, "Yes, because I gave my word that I would." And Ted Cruz knows that his word isn't worth any more than the Canadian currency it's printed on if he goes around lyin', so he better do what he said!

[contextly_sidebar id="awU2Kc35RcL8UW09KAdOxtSytJdHjEyM"]Except. Well, maybe he could break his word, under certain circumstances. Like maybe if Trump incites so much violence among his chicken-fellating redneck supporters that somebody gets killed? No, Cruz and Trump agree that Trump supporters are violently angry because "Washington." What if Trump keeps doing Hitler salutes at his rallies? Ted Cruz isn't too sure that's kosher, but it's not a deal-breaker. But if THIS happens:

One example where I would no longer supporter Donald Trump. If, for example, he were to go out on 5th Avenue and shoot somebody, I would not be willing to support Donald Trump.

OK. Glad to know Ted Cruz has some sort of moral compass. Kind of.

[contextly_sidebar id="QMKF7eRxRiKAZB1KeQdxG759TpLk3BlB"]To refresh your forgetful brains, Donald Trump said in January, in what was a mildly shocking statement at the time, that he could literally go out in the middle of 5th Avenue in New York City and blow somebody's brains out, and his supporters would still love him. He wasn't saying he actually wanted to go shoot somebody (we don't think), but was more commenting on how mindfuckingly stupid and violent his supporters are. He likes the "poorly educated" types, you see.

This does not mean, of course, that Cruz would have the testicular fortitude to actually bumrush the shooter if it was Donald Trump. Maybe he might at least straddle a wrecking ball and swing it in Trump's general direction?

Ted Cruz fighting Donald Trump.

But OK fine, Cruz has found his limit. If Donald Trump commits actual human murder during the 2016 election season, Cruz will not support him for president. Somehow we doubt he'd cast his vote for Hillary or Bernie, though. He'd probably just write in "Jesus" or "My dry-drunk dad."

As for the other candidates, have they reached their limits? Oh bother. Well, John Kasich has expressed a desire to turtlehead out of his Ohio Cave Of Midwestern Moderation And Man Hugs and point his finger at Trump really hard, to scold him for being such a Naughty Norman, inciting violence on the campaign trail. But he's still on record saying he'd support Trump if he was the GOP nominee.

[contextly_sidebar id="6g1UAYZFgyQjHLrn3gjtMtevpzYjBbjK"]And as for Marco Rubio? Poor little thing says it's getting "harder every day" to support Donald Trump, and he REALLY wants to be the guy people vote for instead of Trump (NOPE), but we're pretty sure he'll be a good Little Marco and do what Trump tells him to when the time comes.

Verdict: Pussies. All of them. Pathetic, craven, secretly Trump-loving pussies.

[The New Civil Rights Movement]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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