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Ted Cruz's wackaloon father, fundamentalist preacher Rafael Cruz, warned on Tuesday that bans on discrimination against LGBT Americans would inevitably lead to unisex locker rooms, rampant crime by sexual predators, and probably the criminalization of Christianity -- the usual load of bollocks.


In a conference call with fellow Homophobe For Jesus E.W. Jackson, the failed vice-gubernatorial candidate from Virginia, Cruz called on Christian extremists to elect fellow Christian extremists, or America would be beset by "the wicked electing the wicked." We've mentioned before that Ted Cruz's dad seems real nice, right?

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Cruz claimed that a nondiscrimination ordinance recently passed in Houston would have dire consequences:

“An ordinance was passed by the city council with a blessing of the mayor that allows men to walk into women’s bathrooms,” Cruz insisted. “It even would allow kids to make football teams to go shower with the girls.”

“That is a recipe for disaster, for sexual predators, for who knows what,” he continued. “So my call to every Christian is, enough, we can no longer sit comfortable on the pews. And, pastors, you cannot continue to hide behind the pulpit. God will hold you accountable.”

Cruz did not specify the exact nature of God's vengeance on Christians who stood by and allowed dudes who look like a lady to pee in the stall of their choice, but it is widely believed that the punishment would either be posthumous, or would take the form of severe weather events anywhere on the planet, God being rather capricious about the targets of His Divine Wrath.

Cruz also warned that Christians cannot remain "on the sidelines" of politics, as if they were somehow under-represented in current political discourse. Further, he said, Christians need to "stand against all the ungodliness that is being promoted throughout our government.” He asserted that the government actually is "promoting a religion. And the religion they are promoting is the religion of secularism. And it is the antithesis of Christianity.”

Yr Wonkette was unable find any secularist churches in the local Yellow Pages, although the Unitarians very kindly offered us some coffee. Cruz then went on to rail against the hobby of not collecting stamps and the sport of sitting around on your ass. He refrained from attacking the science of just making shit up, as that is actually a major course of study at several Christian colleges.

[RawStory]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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On Monday, someone attempted to murder George Soros by putting a bomb in his mailbox. Also on Monday, someone threw a rock into House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy's office. Also, I spilled some hot coffee on myself. These are all things that happened on Monday, and were by some measure unpleasant. While most people might say, "Yes, all of those things are unpleasant, but they are not equal degrees of unpleasant," most people are not Chuck Schumer.

In what appears to be an attempt to get someone on Fox News to describe him as a "reasonable guy," Schumer sent out a tweet today lamenting the "despicable acts of violence and harassment" being done by "both sides."

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Republicans are KILLIN' IT in Florida, you guys! No worries about election day, Gators. It's all smooooooth sailing for the Sunshine State GOP. Just take it from Governor Rick Scott's lead pollster Wes Anderson, who produced a whimsical, unskewed poll for the campaign, featuring nostalgic jams about high Republican turnout in those good old days, telling the Tampa Bay Times,

As the linked slides indicate, Governor Scott currently leads Senator Nelson 51% to 46%, a lead that is outside of the margin of error.

It should also be noted that this sample from last week is very robust at 2,200 interviews of likely voters, stratified by county to reflect historic mid-term turnout. Our sample shows the Republicans with a one-point turnout advantage, even though we believe we will end up with a two- or three-point advantage. For historical context, in the past two mid-term elections Republicans had a four-point advantage in 2010 and a three-point advantage in 2014. At R+1, that makes our current sample a very conservative take on the likely partisan composition of this year's electorate.

NEEDZ MOAR BILL MURRAY.

No other pollster has replicated those numbers, with SurveyUSA, Quinnipiac, and CNN/SSRS all finding Bill Nelson in the lead, but if OnMessage, Inc. says Scott is running way ahead, then it must be true! Only OnMessage promises to "take your principles, your experience, and your opponent's weaknesses to develop a winning message plan that the voters will embrace." And who wouldn't trust a push pollster, right?

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