Ted Nugent Has More 'Metaphors' About Shooting People To Death, Again


Ted Nugent, a wise and gentle seeker of cosmic truth, as well as a known lover of humanity and rainbows and raping people into submission, has made words with the butt on his face again, and would you be surprised to learn they involve shooting people with guns? We will wait as you pick yourself up off the floor, onto which we have just knocked you with this here feather.

Tell us about it, stud:

NUGENT: The left dominates the public discourse. And here we are, with the Chicago gangster, ACORN rip-off scam-artist-in-chief because we, who know better, were silent. I suppose we were being tolerant and moderate. And the Nugent guy, well he's a radical. And again, it's not about me. I don't want a pat on the back. I don't need one. I don't seek one. It's inconsequential.

But when I kick the door down to the enemy's camp, would you help me shoot somebody? Just help me clear the room. And again, that's a metaphor ladies and gentleman, I'm not recommending shooting anybody. It's a metaphor of how to counterpunch the enemy if someone is willing to be on the frontline.

Well of course it is a metaphor! Just as we used "Bridge Over Troubled Water" to explain metaphors (AND SIMILES) to our then-young son -- "and now he is talking about heroin!" -- Ted Nugent understands art and stuff.

Unsurprisingly, since it is like all his metaphors, Nugent's newest metaphor involves murdering somebody, with a gun! Sometimes those people are murdered while being raped by his gun, and sometimes those people are murdered by sucking on his gun, depending on whether they are a man murder victim, like Barack Obama, or a lady murder victim, like Nancy Pelosi and Ol' Hillz Clinton. (Hint: he only rape-murders the lady murder victims, because Ted Nugent is not gay, OKAY? Well, except for the time he offered to suck this dude's dick, and rape his producer, to show that Ted Nugent is a damn nice guy.)

Of course, when we tell Ted Nugent to "suck on this," we are not talking in metaphors. We are talking about our very real big black cock.


Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc