Tenn Rep. Stephen Fincher Pocketed $9 Million in Ag Subsidies, Says Jesus Hates Food Stamps


So in ourstory yesterday on the Congressional debate over just how deeply Jesus wants food stamps to be cut, we missed a tiny detail that is probably worth mentioning. One of the special flowers seeking to slash the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program, aka food stamps, was Tennessee Bible-humper Stephen Fincher, who argued against feeding the hungry by quoting Jesus's message of love and indifference in Matthew chapter 26: "the poor will always be with us, and they will always be nasty tricksy takerses. They takes the precious and we hates them, we do."

Only it turns out that we were unaware of one other delightful factoid about Rep. Fincher, brought to light by the blog Southern Beale: when he's not busy saving taxpayers' money by telling hungry children to fuck off and die, Rep. Fincher is a proud member of the agribusiness community, and according to the source of all knowledge, Fincher's family agribiz

has received $8.9 million in farm subsidies over the past decade, mostly from the cotton program, according to U.S. Department of Agriculture data.

(Yes, there's a source, so you just knock off your wiki-bashing, you.)

And while other candidates in the 2010 primary made some noise about those subsidies, Fincher nonetheless won his district as a Tea Partier who hates big government. Just not when it's lining his pocket, because he is a Maker, not a Taker.

Son of God Jesus Christ was unavailable for comment at press time, as He was busy saving some -- but not all -- children from a tornado.


Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


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