church church signs civil rights movement equal rights fetuses gay marriage gays god jesus Knoxville Knoxville Baptist Tabernacle Church pt They are just saying that's all satan unborn babies women's suffrage Tennessee Church: Know Who Else Wanted Equal Rights? SATAN! News Evan Hurst March 20, 2015 09:00 AM </p> <p>The newest hysterical entry into the "who can wig out the best over gay marriage?" contest comes from the Knoxville Baptist Tabernacle Church in Knoxville, Tennessee, who <a href="http://www.wbir.com/story/news/2015/03/16/churchs-equal-rights-message-draws-criticism/24882013/" target="_blank">decided to use their church sign</a> to remind everyone that this whole fight for "equal rights" is nothing new. In fact, Satan himself debuted the concept, when he wanted equality with God, or something like that, we are pretty sure none of this is in the Bible: </p><hr/><p/><blockquote>A marquee message posted outside an East Knoxville church has sparked controversy. The church's pastor says people have misunderstood the communication. <p>The Knoxville Baptist Tabernacle sign read, "Remember Satan was the first to demand equal rights." </p><p>It was later changed, but it angered some who saw it. It was interpreted in different ways.</p></blockquote> <p>What, you don't remember when Satan got this whole dumb idea of "equality" rolling in the first place? What do you think "Sympathy For The Devil" is about anyway? </p><p>Well, in case you are BIBLE ILLITERATE, it's that, long before women's suffrage, the Civil Rights Movement, this whole LGBT hullabaloo and of course the fetuses who march on Washington every day in order to be given power of attorney over their mothers, Satan was doing a little of marching of his own, right up to heaven, where he said "make some space on your throne and move over, JEHOVAH, or at least give my dwelling place the same air conditioning system you have," and God was like "NOPE" and kicked him down to hell. It's too bad you missed that lesson in Sunday School, perhaps if you hadn't stayed up late smoking drugs with your dumb friends you would remember. </p><p>The pastor of the church, though he was clearly trying to say that God hates fags, ended up offending other people as well, imagine that: </p><p/><blockquote>Andy Henry interpreted it as being aimed at a particular group of people. <p>"It's clearly a sign that was meant to offend a particular community - the LGBT community. Because of (the church's) lack of foresight, they ended up offending everybody who had ever fought for equality or civil rights in general." </p><p>Pastor Tony Greene says he meant no offense. He said the church was not targeting a certain group. </p><p>He thinks people misunderstood his message. </p><p>"Be careful when you demand your equal rights that you don't hurt others around you. You've got to consider everyone around you," he said.</p></blockquote> <p>Ha ha, when he says they weren't targeting a certain group, he is lying. Or maybe we are all stupid, and just need to consider the needs of the people we are demanding equality from. Won't somebody think of the property-owning males, the white people, men in general and, for that matter GOD? All you equal-rightsy people make them cry, and you need to stop. </p><p>After predictable backlash, the church reportedly changed the sign to say OOPS SORRY LUV JESUS, or more precisely, "Glad you reading,[<em>sic</em>] didn't mean to offend, we all need Christ": </p><p><a href="https://assets.rbl.ms/17680602/origin.png"><img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8xNzY4MDYwMi9vcmlnaW4ucG5nIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTU5NzY2MTMwOX0.QrlNv7N-jvWvET657a9JbvzdUfow7ORCK_mKsMv2nkU/img.png?width=980" id="e3054" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="268cbc866cf6acf4c29930cc1fb8c352" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" /></a> </p><p>So it's all better now, the people at that church can't Grammar Good, and everybody is equal after all, in needing Jesus, especially all you liberal abortionist homo lesbos. According to the news report, the church changes their sign every week, so we probably should start monitoring it on the regular; that could be fun. </p><p>[<a href="http://www.wbir.com/story/news/2015/03/16/churchs-equal-rights-message-draws-criticism/24882013/" target="_blank">WBIR</a> <em>via</em> <a href="http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2015/03/tennessee-church-sign-remember-satan-was-the-first-to-demand-equal-rights/#.VQtnZC1m_D0.facebook" target="_blank">Raw Story</a>]</p> Evan Hurst Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now. Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.