Tennessee Coulda Had More COVID Shots If Dumb GOP Gov Didn't Think Vaccines Made Of ABORSHUN MILKSHAKE

State/Local Politics

GOP Gov. Bill Lee, very smart

Tennessee is known for a couple of things: 1) being the birthplace of several genres of the most important American music ever; and 2) electing absolute morons at all levels.

Today we have news about one of those morons, Tennessee GOP Governor Bill Lee, and how his very stupid religious beliefs prevented the state from getting more COVID vaccine when we really needed it. The revelation comes from Dr. Michelle Fiscus, who was Tennessee's top vaccine official until Lee canned her, apparently for the heresy of trying to get teens vaccinated against COVID. So she's spilling some tea on what's gone on behind the scenes.


Tennessee Gov. Bill Lee's personal religious views became an obstacle in Tennessee's rollout of one of the COVID-19 vaccines, a former state health department insider claims.

The governor's office denies there was any delay in the distribution of the Johnson & Johnson vaccine, but Fiscus and other insiders tell a different story. They say Lee was motivated by the misconception that the J&J vaccine contained fetal tissue.

"It was a barrier to getting people vaccinated," Dr. Michelle Fiscus told NewsChannel 5 Investigates.

Bill Lee, like many rightwing morons, apparently thinks vaccines are made of ABORSHUN MILKSHAKE, and therefore according to Fiscus, "The governor forbade us from using it in health departments."

Fiscus notes that when the J & J vaccine came out, Tennessee healthcare folks were excited because it was a one-and-done shot, which would make it so much easier to get into people's arms. Unfortunately, Bill Lee, a verified idiot, apparently became convinced at some point in his life that the way they make the vaccines is first a scientist aborts a Christian baby and then they stuff it in a syringe with some hot sauce and candy sprinkles, and BING BONG, that's a vaccine! Maybe he saw it on Pat Robertson or some other science documentary.

"This is something that I think bothered the governor a great deal, that this particular vaccine was produced in that way," she added.

The governor's office of course denies all this, perhaps because it's in the news and there's some level of self-awareness that this makes him look like a M-O-R-O-N.

Of course, wingnuts don't have the science quite right when they assert that vaccines are made of fully formed unborn babies named Katelyn. Fetal tissue research saves lives, of course, we should always note that. But, as News Channel 5 in Nashville reports, the J & J vaccine actually does come from cell lines from one very special ancient abortion you'll want to tell all your friends about:

In fact, experts say the J&J vaccine does not contain fetal tissue, it does not contain fetal DNA, although – like many vaccines – it is produced using fetal cells derived from a single abortion in 1985.

"The cells that are used are decades-old cells that are the great, great, great, great, great grand-cells of those original cells. So there are no cells there that are from that original fetus," Fiscus said.

Wow, that abortion sounds AWESOME! That abortion has grandchildren! And its grandchildren have grandchildren! And it's grandchildren's grandchildren are saving millions of lives! That's one badass abortion!

That abortion should get some kind of award for "Most Fuckin' Pro-Life Abortion Ever," don't you think? Do they do Nobel Prizes for abortions that really apply themselves?

Fiscus says they finally got through to Lee, but by then it was too late. NewsChannel 5 in Nashville crunched the numbers:

[W]hile Moderna represented more than 700,000 doses administered through state-run health departments through May 13 and Pfizer made up 561,000, J&J was less than 4,000.

Even now, the website vaccinefinder.org shows J&J is "out of stock" in 35 state-run health departments.

One of the counties where it was "out of stock" told reporters you can't get the J & J vaccine in Tennessee.

"We missed opportunities all over the state for people who would have been vaccinated early on had the vaccines been made available in those places — and we don't know if those people come back," Fiscus said.

Tennessee, you could have had more COVID vaccine. Unfortunately, your dingus governor thinks COVID vaccines are made of abortion spices that Jesus has some kind of peanut allergy to. That's why you don't have more vaccine.

Sorry.

[NewsChannel 5 Nashville]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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