Tennessee Says Don't Drive Drunk, And Don't Go Home With That Ugly Bitch Either
Sup, bros? You drunk? Well, if you are drunk and you are in Tennessee, the Governor's Highway Safety Office has an important message for you! First off, don't drive drunk. And also, that bitch you are talking to is not going to be pretty when you wake up next to her in the morning, so don't fuck her, bro:
A new advertising campaign put out by the Governor's Highway Safety Office has stirred up controversy, as some have said the campaign takes a sexist approach to encouraging young men not to drive under the influence.
The campaign boasts slogans that refer to girls looking "hotter" when guys are under the influence and finding out "a marginally good-looking girl" later is "chatty," "clingy" or "your boss's daughter" as signs that maybe a man has had too much to drink.
SOME SAY it is sexist to warn young men that bitches be triflin', and you don't wanna get your dick wet in THAT. At least, according to The Tennessean, it is only some who say. These are actual coasters being used and promoted by the state of Tennessee, in bars:
HA HA HA, she's only "marginally good looking," and she's a clingy LADY, but you are shitfaced, so you were nice to her. JOKE'S ON YOU, BRO, she is your boss's daughter. Don't drive drunk!
So, what does the state have to say about its little No Drunks, No Uglies campaign? Oh, just that it's really great and they're really proud of it:
After an inquiry by The Tennessean, the office sent a statement from Director Kendell Poole that took credit for the advertising campaign, saying it was intentionally designed to reach the "young male demographic."
"We take feedback from the public seriously and want to thank all of those who have reached out to share their opinions with us," the statement said. "It was never the intent of our office to offend anyone. This new initiative was designed to reach the young male demographic, who are statistically more likely to drive under the influence. Well-known adages, like dating the boss's daughter, were used to grab their attention within the bar environment. Our office continually experiments with new strategies in order to be effective with various target demographics, and we will be closely monitoring the results."
Well-known adages! Because accidentally drunk-fucking your boss's ugly daughter is a thing that happens to ALL GUYS! Glad to know the state is committed to "continually experimenting" with messages, because this experiment did not go well!
The state also had a helpful website you could go to, for those times when there wasn't an ugly lady near you, that you wanted to drink into pretty-hood. It was called impaired.tntrafficsafety.org, and it reportedly featured helpful pictures of "binge drinking, promiscuity and cleaning up vomit with a cat," all of which were meant to keep folks from driving drunk. We're not sure how that relates, as it's perfectly possible for drunk dudes to Uber home, without their boss's daughters, and continue to do binge drinking, promiscuity and cat vomit.
Anyway, the website is gone now and hopefully everybody who works for the Tennessee Governor's Highway Safety Office is being fired.
Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.
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