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Oh, lookie here, it's Texans being paranoid again, only this time it's not about Jade Helm 15, chemtrails, or gay wedding registries at the Mega-Lo Mart. A bunch of nice folks in North Texas are jes' powerful afeared that if a Muslim congregation gets permission to build a new cemetery, the next thing you know, there'll be mosques, madrassas, and fellers walking around in 10-gallon keffiyehs all over the place.


The Muslim Corpse Panic (which would be a decent name for a band) is taking place in Farmersville, Texas, a mere 25 miles away from Garland, where those two guys from Arizona tried to attack the stupid Draw Mohammed Contest. It's not unlike a similar outbreak in Tennessee in 2014, in which many Concerned Christians had themselves a fine hissy over the addition of a small graveyard to the Islamic Center of Murfreesboro. As we noted at the time:

Opposition to the cemetery had nothing to do with bigotry or Islamophobia, no no no — people are just worried that since Muslim burials don’t use caskets, vaults, or embalming, those dead Muslim bodies might poison the city’s drinking water. So this is not about their filthy alien religion; it is only about the threat posed to public health by their filthy alien religious practices.

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And wouldn't you know it, the good people -- that is to say, the non-Muslims -- of Farmersville are also worried about the sanitary implications of putting bodies six feet under without proper Christian hygienic preparations. Oh, and also, they're just plain more honest about how they are scared to death that once you start allowing dead Muslims in their county, then live ones will follow, what with all the Sharia Law, the Holy War, and the shawarma restaurants.

"The concern for us is the radical element of Islam," David J. Meeks, pastor of Bethlehem Baptist Church, told The Dallas Morning News. He said he thinks the cemetery would be the first step toward a broader Muslim expansion in town.

"How can we stop a mosque or madrassa training center from going in there?" he asked, referring to a type of Islamic school.

Well, shoot, Preacher, if you're allowed to fill innocent children's heads with dangerous nonsense like Leviticus, or the genocidal bits in Deuteronomy and Joshua, we aren't so sure you have any grounds to complain.

Angry residents packed a recent meeting to consider Islamic Association of Collin County's request to develop 35 acres as a cemetery, which would include such offenses to Texas Jebus as "an open-air pavilion and small retail component that would run along a busy highway through town." Farmersville already has been tainted by such exotic institutions as a "Buddhist center and Mormon church," but apparently holes in the ground with ex-Muslims in them was simply more than the populace could bear.

Some wise souls, who have clearly been studying up on Radical Islam on the Internet, feared that those crazy Muslims might just be leaving bodies willy-nilly all over the place, like they do back in Muslimland:

"When somebody dies, they bury them at that time," Farmersville resident Troy Gosnell told KTVT-TV. "You don't know whether they were shot, diseased or anything else. All they do is wrap them in a sheet, throw them in the grave and bury them."

And then, for all he knows, they throw in a live Christian baby, too, plus an offering of camel dung.

A spokesman for the Islamic Association, Khalil Abdur-Rashid, explained, possibly with his eyes rolling in frustration, that no, actually, "shrouded bodies would be placed in caskets and entombed in vaults underground," and also there were no plans for a mosque down there underground either, not that it will reassure any of the locals, because look at that guy's funny foreign name, and we all know that Muslims are required to lie to fool the infidels, it's just part of their religion, according to the Internet.

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"There's just a basic concern or distrust about the cemetery coming into town," said Mayor Joe Helmberger, who calls the townspeople's worries unwarranted.

He said the cemetery would be approved as long as the town's development standards are met, pointing out that the U.S. was founded on religious freedom and that the association is simply trying to secure a burial site.

We have a sinking feeling that Mayor Helmberger's calm, rational understanding of religious freedom is probably going to be an issue come election time, since he is clearly a dangerous radical, or at least has been fooled by Sharia creeping all over him.

CBS DFW reported earlier in the week that locals had a perfectly brilliant plan to put an end to the cemetery plans, however:

Residents have organized and some are making threats to keep it from being approved. Some are threatening to dump pigs blood and put pigs heads on a post so Muslims won’t buy the land.

It looks like either they didn't Carrie out that operation, or that the Islamic Association wasn't quite so easy to frighten with a Lord of the Flies reenactment. The AP reports that the purchase of the land has been completed, according to Alia Salem, the executive director of the Council on American-Islamic Relations' Dallas-Fort Worth chapter. Maybe they could hand a conch shell to the locals as a peace offering.

[HuffPo / CBS DFW via BuzzFeed]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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