Texas Gun Humpers Now Upset They Can't Approach Any Old Motorist While Heavily Armed
It has happened to everyone: you’re behind the wheel of your car, idling at a stoplight while absently singing along to your favorite One Direction CD, when you spot a bedraggled, crazy-eyed homeless man making his way from vehicle to vehicle, holding out an old Big Gulp cup into which a few of your fellow motorists have already tossed a few measly pennies. Holy shit, you think to yourself, I just want to enjoy “Story of My Life” without being guilted into forking over whatever change is in my change tray. I’ll just roll up the window and stare straight ahead and ignore the guy until the light turns green.
Now imagine that bedraggled, crazy-eyed man has an AR-15 strapped across his back, and instead of a change cup, he’s pushing copies of the Constitution at you while muttering about his rights. Phew, that’s a relief. Don’t you feel better? No? What’s your problem, commie?
Luckily for the bedraggled, crazy-eyed gun toters of Texas, Open Carry Tarrant County is on it.
Yesterday, OCTC sued the city of Arlington over a recently passed ordinance banning pedestrians from handing out literature to stopped cars at busy intersections. The city says this is a public safety measure and was not adopted in response any one particular group’s activities. The gun fondlers are convinced it is aimed specifically at keeping them from exercising their First and Second Amendment rights to walk around strapped to the gills while telling other people about how awesome the country is for allowing them to do so.
Weirdly, some people in Arlington are not at all sanguine about being approached by armed men while sitting in their cars.
Close to 20 people attended the meeting in favor of the law, including one woman who said she was approached by members carrying guns not too long ago when she was driving through town.
"It's impossible for anyone to tell if you're a person that has good intention, or if you intend to do harm," said Kim Martinez.
Martinez? Sounds Messican. Go back to Sinaloa, hippie!
Open Carry Tarrant County leader Kory Watkins, pictured over at Freak Out Nation modeling the very latest fashions from Banana Republic’s Armed Revolution Casual Wear line, says he and his compatriots will keep passing out literature after the ordinance goes into effect and are “absolutely” willing to be arrested. After which they can hock their guns to pay the fines.
Man, these poor open carry advocates in Texas. First they got themselves banned from Chipotle when the restaurant chain declined to be an unwilling participant in the advocates’ political protest for the right to fondle their giant guns with one hand while eating an overstuffed, artery-clogging burrito with the other. Then they got themselves tossed out of a Chili’s and a Sonic and called “dumbasses” by some lady who hates guns. Which is just what the Nazis called the Jews in Germany in the ‘30s before taking their guns and shipping them off to the camps. Now they can’t even approach trapped (and possibly terrified) motorists to preach the righteous Word of God LaPierre about their right to carry guns around on the off chance they’ll suddenly be called upon to stop Al-Qaeda from attacking a Fort Worth Dairy Queen.
It is truly a sad time in America.