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You may have been wondering what we're going to do with ourselves now that the hullabaloo over Michael Brown's killing iscompletely over. Fortunately, there are other good people struggling for the rights of the oppressed, like a group of Texas pastors who are petitioning the Cleveland, Texas, City Council to remove about 75 books from the public library because they will make your children do black magic and date vampires. The petition drive is being headed by one Rev. Phillip Missick, pastor of King of Saints Tabernacle, who testified at a City Council meeting:


“There are 75 books, according to the library, that deal with the occult in the teen section. On the top shelf, there is a demonic stuffed doll and a witch’s hat[.]”

The Cleveland Advocate explained that the latter two items were actually a statuette of Dobby the House Elf and a replica of the Sorting Hat from the Harry Potter series.

The paper didn't specify whether the Potter books were also on the list of titles that need to go, but some specific books that the pastors deemed a threat to the community included such dangerous works as the Vampire Knight Japanese funnybook (or Mangle, as they call it) series, the House of Night series, and also a book identified only as Blood Promise, a title that turns out to be used in at least four different book series (this is really more of an indication that YA publishing is in a rut than proof of an overarching Satanic plot, we think). Needless to say, Stephanie Meyer's Twilight series is also on the list, which certainly makes it a tempting proposition, but we'd prefer that teens have the chance to learn for themselves what Bad Writing is, even if it hurts a little.

Missick also told a local teevee station just how unwholesome these pervy awful books are: "This is dark. There's a sexual element. You have creatures that aren't human. I think it's dangerous for our kids," he said.

Another supporter of the petition, Rev. James Holt of Cornerstone Church of Cleveland, said that it only makes sense to keep trash out of the hands of the innocent young folks:

“What you read does have an influence on your life and the library needs to be careful with what kind of books need to be on the shelf,” Holt argued.

Despite signing the petition to have the books removed, Holt insisted that he is not calling for a ban on books, because obviously words can mean a whole lot of different things, and you can remove books from a library collection without it being a ban, silly.

“The word ‘censorship’ is not an ugly word,” he added. “If you don’t censor what your children see, hear and read, then guess what? Your child is going to be spending a lot of time … later on in life dealing with twisted-up and torn-up lives.”

“The word ‘no’ is not a bad thing,” Holt continued. “The word ‘no’ can come from a place of love. It’s our job to protect them, even when it comes to literature and art.”

It's so very true! We know of people who read Twilight at an early age who went on to think that it was good writing!

Librarian Mary Merrell Cohn was "not permitted by the city to respond to the media’s request for comments," according to the Advocate, but letters exchanged between Cohn and Missick reveal her to be a dangerous book-reading liberal, and possibly a vampire herself:

“The library is a public library, open to all, no matter their age, race, sexual orientation, religious preferences or social economic standing. City Council adopted the ‘Library Bill of Rights’ [that] states, ‘Books and other library resources should be provided for the interest, information and enlightenment of all people of the community the library serves .... Materials should not be proscribed or removed because of partisan or doctrinal disapproval.’”

Cohn’s letter to Missick also explains the library’s policy for checking out books.

“No child can check out material unless their parent or guardian signs them up for a card ... Since the majority of the children using the library come with their parents, I believe this is a moot point,” she said.

While pointing out the area of the library in question on Thursday, Cohn said the library’s collection also includes one of the most banned books in the world -- the Holy Bible.

That sure as heck sounded like a comment, and you should probably expect Ms. Cohn to be fired for insubordination any day now.

[Christian News Network via Wonkette Operative Librarian_X / Cleveland Advocate / library photo by Vanesa Brashier, Cleveland Advocate / ABC13]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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