Texas Pro-Life Republicans Just Hahahaha No Seriously For Real This Story Just Read It

Who's in the mood to watch Texas Republicans slap-fight with each other? Oh, everyone? OK then, let's do that!

The Texas legislature is considering yet another bill to shut down Planned Parenthood because that's pretty much all the Texas legislature does, when it's not trying to shut down The Gayand the Supreme Court.

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So in anticipation of Planned Parenthood supporters descending on the Capitol to say, "Hey, please stop trying to take away our lady health care," Texas Right to Life distributed some nifty signage to its most favoritest "pro-life" state representatives so they can make some kind of point (the dumb kind) to them baby-killin' whores:

One of the signs appeared Wednesday morning on the wall outside Rep. Jonathan Stickland's office. It identifies the Bedford Republican as a "FORMER FETUS," using a format similar to the plaques near most members' doors. [...]

"In honor of their visit, I put this sign up on my office door," Stickland said in a Facebook post with a photo of the sign attached. "Organizations that murder children are not welcome in my office."

Aww, that's sweet. Of course, what Texas is really trying to do is exclude Planned Parenthood from the Breast and Cervical Cancer Screening program, which is a little bit different from murdering children, but not in Texas, where cancer prevention and murder is the exact same thing because Texas is awesome, do not mess with it.

Oh, but some jerk is ruining Stickland's dumb point fun and won't even let him have his "Take that, you murderers!" plaque outside his office. And that jerk is fellow "pro-life" Republican Charlie Geren, who, according to Stickland "ripped down" his fetus plaque and threw it in a staffer's face.

“I thought it was absolutely handled in the wrong way," Stickland added. "I wish Rep. Geren was more professional about it instead of intimidating my staff.”

How unprofessional and childish, even. Except according to Geren, nuh uh, that is not even what happened, stupid-head. He claims he removed the plaques, without throwing them in any faces whatsoever, because they violate the State Preservation Board's rules on how to maintain the Capitol grounds.

"Tearing them down is hardly the deal," Geren said minutes after Stickland shared the story on Twitter. "If Stickland wants to act like a child, that's fair, but I did not rip it down."

So Stickland is the child, but then, we'd expect nothing less from a former fetus. Meanwhile, Texas Right to Life is having some sads that legislators cannot even violate the rules to boast about they were once a fetus, unfair!

Yup, that is sad, all right. Almost as sad as telling thousands of Texas women they can't get screened for cancer anymore because ewww, gross, Planned Parenthood:

Planned Parenthood currently serves about 10 percent of the patients who participate in the state’s Breast and Cervical Cancer Screening program, according to officials from the organization. Last year, an estimated 3,000 Texas women went to Planned Parenthood clinics to get checked for cancer. It’s a particularly critical service for residents of Texas, which has one of the highest rates of cervical cancer in the country.

Meanwhile, another fellow Republican state representative, Sarah Davis, is opposing the bill, saying it is not "appropriate" to defund providers because, ahem, "If we don’t have the provider network, women cannot be served. And they will die." But who cares about dead women? Were THEY ever fetuses? Probably not!

Anyway, Texas Republicans, keep up the good fight -- amongst yourselves.

[Texas Tribune/Think Progress]


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