Donate

Texas State Rep. Jodie Laubenberg Breaks Glass Stupid Ceiling, Declares Rape Kit = Abortion

News

Have you had just about enough of ignorant GOP men saying incredibly stupid, clueless things about rape and abortion? Well so has Texas state Rep. Jodie Laubenberg (R-Shut It Down), who obviously decided it was time for GOP women to get in on the act. During debate over a bill that would close most of the state's clinics that perform abortions, Laubenberg argued against an exemption for victims of rape and incest, dumbsplaining that such an exception isn't needed, because


“in the emergency room they have what’s called rape kits where a woman can get cleaned out,” she said, incorrectly comparing the procedure to collect physical evidence after a sexual assault to an abortion. “The woman had five months to make that decision, at this point we are looking at a baby that is very far along in its development.”

In addition to automatically winning a nomination for Wonkette's coveted Legislative Shitmuffin of the Year Award, Rep. Laubenberg also deserves a prize for the strangest description of an abortion to ever come from a "pro-life" person, and the worst euphemism for abortion since that line in "Hills Like White Elephants" about "letting the air in."

But we hope GOP men have learned their lesson. THAT is how you do stupid. None of this silly Nazi-derived mumbo-jumbo about "legitimate rape" or the morning-after pill or anything like that. If you really want to do batshit insane, just follow the lead of Jodie Lauberberg and throw mere reality out the window altogether, because in Texas politics, you don't need to be grounded in "facts," you just have to be "pro-life."

The bill passed, 97-33.

[Salon via the Wonkette Tipline]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

$
Donate with CC

"The people have got to know whether or not their president is a murderer. Well, I'm not a murderer. I've earned everything I've got and never once committed armed robbery." -- Donald Trump, tomorrow. PROBABLY.

We've now reached the stage of the Trump administration where the president's defenders are cold calling reporters to tell them to quit making such a big deal, because HELLO, THERE'S NO DEAD BODY. (Yet.)

"Nobody got killed, nobody got robbed… This was not a big crime," Giuliani told The Daily Beast on Wednesday. He added, sardonically, "I think in two weeks they'll start with parking tickets that haven't been paid."

This is also the stage where there is a new OMG, breaking! every ninety minutes. So let's type fast to run down the latest on Trump's backroom fuckery with The National Enquirer before this tabloid stuff metastasizes any further.

Last month, the Wall Street Journal reported that Trump met personally with David Pecker, CEO of the Enquirer's parent company American Media, Inc. (AMI) in August 2015. Would Donny's old pal David like to become an unofficial member of Team Trump? HE WOULD.

What can you do to help my campaign? he asked, according to people familiar with the meeting.

Mr. Pecker, chief executive of American Media Inc., offered to use his National Enquirer tabloid to buy the silence of women if they tried to publicize alleged sexual encounters with Mr. Trump.

Well, there goes Trump's defense that he was just racing to buy up those stories to protect poor, delicate Melania -- ten full years after rawdogging a pornstar while she was home recovering from childbirth. Would that be the same meeting described in AMI's corporate immunity deal published five minutes after Cohen got flayed in open court by SDNY prosecutors?

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC

NO. IT CAN'T BE! Does the Republican-led United States Senate have ... a limit? Is there somehow a line they won't cross in this era of "Let's just go along with whatever Batshit McBigMac up there at 1600 Pennsylvania says and who cares if we destroy America in the process?" Turn out the answer to that question is maybe, and the limit is apparently when the crown prince of Saudi Arabia bone saws a Washington Post journalist to death and the president and the secretaries of State and Defense lie about it to their faces.

Senators do not like being lied to, no matter what party they're in. (Unless they're Chuck Grassley and it's Trump people lying about Russia and they're dangling sweet, delicious corn cobs in front of his face. Or if it's Lindsey Graham, when Trump's mouth is open. But otherwise they hate it.)

The Senate has been holding hearings and offering strongly worded resolutions aimed at forcing Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman to take responsibility for the Jamal Khashoggi murder, and also stop genociding the fuck out of Yemen and blockading Qatar and kidnapping the Lebanese prime minister and jailing dissidents, and SO ON. In short, the consensus is that MBS is out of goddamn control and needs to be reined in, yesterday.

On Thursday, the Senate followed that up WITH VOTES. Indeed, the Senate voted unanimously to blame MBS for the murder. (Right here, we are using the definition of "unanimously" that means ALL OF THEM, KATIE, because that is what "unanimously" always means.)

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc