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Say, where ARE eagles' tear ducts?

Donald Trump has been out and about throwing Tough Guy Fist Pumps and a big thumbs up to commemorate 9/11, so it's a pretty good time to also remember how other Great Americans responded to the tragedy. There's no doubt Trump was the day's greatest hero, for suddenly owning downtown Manhattan's tallest building and helping to clear the rubble, not to mention keeping an eye on all those dancing Muslims in Jersey City. All while mourning the "hundreds and hundreds" of friends who died in the attacks. He was pretty much omnipresent on 9/11, apart from the part where most of that is bullshit (the call to brag about now owning the tallest building was true, though).

But don't let Trump's glorious heroism blind you to the courage of others' contributions, like the important work Brett Kavanaugh did following 9/11/01, like when he helped frame thinking on how completely the Bush administration could screw Muslims in the USA (which he may have lied about in judicial confirmation hearings). Also, too, as early as October 2001, Kavanaugh was helping with plans to limit compensation of 9/11 victims to just $500,000, as the New York Daily News reported at the end of August.


As Congress was debating the parameters of the fund, Kavanaugh wrote to Bush aide Kristen Silverberg on Oct. 14, 2001, that questions were being raised about "3 aspects of our proposal" including a "$500,000 cap."

Fortunately, Senator Chuck Schumer and others in Congress didn't let that bullshit go through. The government eventually put in place a Victims Compensation Fund headed by Kenneth Feinberg, and there were no limits placed on the amount of compensation awarded to survivors and their family members. Feinberg

decided compensation based on a number of factors such as "the economic loss suffered as a result of the victim's premature death" as well as "pain and suffering."

Payments ranged from $220,000 to as high as $7.1 million. The average payout was $1.8 million, dwarfing the proposed cap.

The fund was conceived of as a way to keep airlines from going under because of post-9/11 litigation: In order to get compensation from the fund, victims had to waive their right to sue the airlines' contracted security guards for missing the hijackers' knives at gate security.

Nonetheless, 95 families elected not to apply for the fund -- they went ahead and sued, and the airlines eventually settled out of court for a reported total of $500 million, which even with a standard attorneys' take of 33 percent, works out to around $3.5 million per family.

Now don't you go spoiling your Patriots Day fist jabbing and thumbs-upsing by getting down on ol' Brett for helping Dubya try to do 9/11 on the cheap, because White House spokesdouche Raj Shah already has it covered, explaining,

As a public servant on Sept. 11, 2001, Judge Kavanaugh confronted many difficult, at times unprecedented, legal issues in the aftermath of the worst terrorist attack on our soil.

It was hard, and also he was doing what he thought best, bless his heart.

Chuck Schumer, on the other hand, had to go and politicize this sacred day, twelve days ago, by suggesting the zillions of pages of unreleased Kavanaugh documents might contain even more stuff on Kavanaugh's efforts to bring fiscal discipline to national disasters.

"This window into the thinking of Brett Kavanaugh days after the horrific 9/11 terror attack raises real questions about Judge Kavanaugh's priorities and judgement, but it doesn't tell us everything we are entitled to know," said Schumer.

"Millions of pages just like these remain locked up and withheld from public view for no good reason. These documents prove we need his entire record, no matter how bad it looks."

How dare he talk about windows when Donald Trump had to look out his own window on 9/11 and see hundreds of possible friends die. Or when Tucker Carlson is bravely moving the Overton Window on diversity. We are sick of seeing 9/11 be used as a political football, and by the way, aren't those America-hating football players awful, besmirching the sacred dead of 9/11, too?

In conclusion, HAPPY 9/11 AMERICA 9/11 DAY #NUMBER ONE!!!!

[NYDN / Rolling Stone]

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Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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