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Can Donald Trump please have state visits more often? It keeps him off Twitter, it distracts him from governing, it distracts him from how a shark named Robert Mueller is circling his White House, and QUITE FRANKLY it gives yr Wonkette a fucking break from the nightmare of the past couple years. We will get back to real news in a minute, we promise, unless you don't want us to, in which case we will just start writing listicles with animal .gifs from now on. YOU JUST NEVER KNOW.


That being said, the pictures from yesterday are epic, because Donald Trump and Emmanuel Macron have either a bromance or a literal romance that is epic, except for how Macron is obviously faking it for strategery reasons. At least we hope he is. EMMANUEL, YOU CAN DO BETTER.

Anyway, forthwith and forsooth, here are the 10 best pictures we have found of Emmanuel Macron getting canoodled by GrossFace McOldBalls, at least among pictures common warblogs like Wonkette are allowed to embed, and not counting ones we've already shown you.

We can't decide if this first one is romance-y, or whether it is a picture of Trump grabbing his buddy's hand like he's seven years old and jerking him toward his treehouse fort, so he can show him all the cool toys and video games he keeps in there:

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More grooming. You have heard about the grooming, yes? There has been SO MUCH GROOMING:

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Tellin' secrets. FUNNY SECRETS. Secrets like "HEY GUESS WHAT? GUESS WHAT, EMMANUEL? GUESS WHAT? THERE ARE GHOSTS IN YOUR UNDERWEAR!"

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Awwwwwww. They're not full-on holding hands, the French president is just keeping the American president's tiny orange finger warm. This is normal:

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Another view of "OMG LET'S GO PLAY WITH G.I. JOES!"

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President Macron, you ARE doing this for some kind of geopolitical reason, right?

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Because if at any point this gets to be too much, we will not blame you for using your safe word, which is probably "I'm With Her" or "Mueller Time!" Unless it's some French thing like "sacre bleu!"

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"But our wives are here!" "Don't worry, if we get in trouble, Michael Cohen will give you $130,000 from his personal account." "Mais oui!"

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More secrets. More touching. MORE LOVE:

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KEEEEEEEEEESSSSSS!

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Oh, and as our headline implies, Melania got a bite too, while her husband did some kind of weird gross hug move on Brigitte Macron:

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If you need more (you do not) here is a video of the boys making out or whatever:

Anyway, can you imagine how hot these pictures would be if Barack Obama was still president and there wasn't an orange shitwaffle in every single one of them? Might even give Obama 'n' Trudeau a run for their money!

Instead, this is all we get, because we live in hell.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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'Bella" by Wonkette Operative 'IdiokraticSubpoenaKommissar'

Sunday already, which means a substantial portion of US America is preparing to be astonished/heartbroken/outraged by the series finale of that show with the dragons, while another portion is just going to stay off Twitter for three days because nothing will make any sense. Yr Dok Zoom tends to come very late to trendy things, so get ready for our own thoughts on the gamy thrones show sometime in about 2023, or never. But we'd be glad to tell you just how much we enjoy the brilliance and humanity of the Cartoon Network series "Steven Universe," which debuted in 2013 and we started bingeing on the Hulu last month, late again.

Hell, we still want to talk about that one Mrs Landingham episode of "The West Wing," which we first watched years after it aired (We finally bought our new used car yesterday, and know one thing: don't drive over to the White House to show it off to President Bartlet). We might even get around to reading Infinite Jest someday. We hear it has something to do with a superhero team and a guy named Thanos. So hey, let's talk about culture and missing out and patching together some knowledge of what's happening anyway.

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Get Me Roger Stone

Roger Stone, his wife would like you to know, is broke. And he is not dealing with it well. Once in khaki suits, gee, he looked swell, full of that yankee-doodle-dee-dum, but now no one calls him Al anymore and he has to stand on a street corner singing "Brother Can You Spare A Dime?"

Yesterday, the conservative but also kind of Never Trumper site The Bulwark revealed the details of a grifty "fundraising" plea sent out by Stone's wife Nydia, begging supporters to give money to the Stones in order to help them keep up the lifestyle to which they have become accustomed.

It was titled "I am embarrassed to write this."

"Dear Friend," begins the missive. "My husband and I have an urgent new problem and we need your help. I told my husband I was going to write you, one of his most valued supporters. I am embarrassed to write this, but I must."

"Mrs. Roger Stone" tells a tale of woe: FBI agents swooping in on them at the crack of dawn to arrest her husband, a subsequent "fake news" feeding frenzy causing friends and fans to abandon the Stones.

"He laid off all our consultants, contractors and employees, and we have 'pulled in our belts' like so many Americans in 'tight times,'" she wrote, sounding for all the world like a plucky working-class patriot, not the wife of a man who made and lost his fortune lying in the service of power.

She should have been more embarrassed.

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