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The Day Sarah Palin Pardoned a Turkey

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On a grim November day just two years ago, the recently defeated GOP candidate for vice president pardoned a turkey. And because she had yet to quit the only real job she ever had -- governor of Alaska -- she didn't have all these private jets at her service, so she did the "normal for the Palins" thing and just stopped by the abattoir on the way to Taco Bell. And then, as Sarah "pardoned" a turkey, other turkeys were shoved into the industrial maw of the slaughterhouse, in full view of the news cameras. Never Forget.

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I wasn't ready for Koko the gorilla to die. She was just 46, so still young well past the upper age limit for a gorilla, but I'll miss her. She loved cats, told mildly amusing jokes, and put up with people, so she was a lot like your weird aunt.

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Donald Trump held one of his televised cabinet meetings today in which he railed about the terrible Democrats who forced the current border crisis (at a time when illegal border crossings are actually lower than usual). In what's sure to be his favorite phrase on Twitter for the next few days, Trump blamed "extremist open-border Democrats" for all the problems he brought on himself with his family separation policy, and explained that Democrats were simultaneously hurting illegal immigrants AND the rest of America by forcing Normal America to accept Central Americans who fled to the US. It made loads of sense! And then things got ... less so.

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