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  • After losing strength over what's left of Haiti, The Deathstorm hit open water, started gobbling steroids, and now has its eye set on breaking Hurricane Katrina's home run record. The Deathstorm is currently named "III," or "three" for those of you who aren't subjects of the Roman Empire. Once it increases in strength and size it will be known as Bonnie. Meanwhile, near the Land of Drug Cartels, another deathstorm is forming, but its current status is illegal until further notice. Admiralissimo Allen has decreed that the Wondercap will remain closed in the event of a major storm. Track the storm with USA Today's fancy graphic. [NOAA]
  • In hearings before appointed officials in shiny suits with polished medals and brass buttons, officials from BP and the Halliburton Weather Machine Corporation talked about why they thought it was a good idea not to spend $7 million-$10 million on some tie-back barriers and liners so in the future they could spend $4 billion cleaning up the Gulf of Mexico. [Times-Picayune]
  • The Chinese are using rakes and chopsticks to clean up their epic oil spill off their northeast coast. Read the WaPo headline. Aren't you dirty communists happy you live in a capitalist country where we use absorbent pads and movie stars to clean up our petrol disasters? [Washington Post]
  • Rob Marciano shares just how difficult and slow it can be, trying to clean up an oil spill. Welcome to the club, Rob! [CNN]
  • Reporter goes to "female oil wrestling" night at a local bar with oil spill cleanup workers and is somehow shocked by the alcohol-fueled debauchery she finds. [Mother Jones]
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