The Fartknocker Report: Sarah Palin So Mad Barack Obama Loves ISIS More Than Jesus

The Sarah Palin Channel continues to stick with its two-videos-per-week production schedule. Once again, both videos feature Palin in front of the same backdrop, saying things at the camera that are either dumb or lies or both. This week's feature: How President Barack Hussein Osama Bin Lyin' Is Helping ISIS Murder Christians, With Words.

At 2:23, this video is both Palin's longest in three weeks and still short enough to mock almost line-by-line. Let's begin!

Palin: Well, President Obama did it again, insulting Christians, this time at a time when he should have been honoring Christ. Yeah, this happened a few weeks ago, but uh, it's important to note that, um, our President continues to screw up in this arena. This time, it was during Easter, he attacked, well, what he called less-than loving Christians.

Obama: ...uh, less-than-loving expressions by Christians, I get concerned. But that's a topic for another day. [crowd laughs]

Palin: At a time when Christians face genocide in the Middle East, when they're being beheaded and crucified and watching their ancient churches burn to the ground, Barack Obama chooses to denounce Christians!


1. This did indeed happen "a few weeks ago." Seven weeks before Palin's video was published, to be exact. Apparently, Barack Obama's disrespect toward Christians is such an affront to Sarah Palin that she decided to dry-age it like the fine piece of red meat that it is.

2. Would you believe that Sarah Palin is taking Barack Obama's words out of context? Yr Wonket bets that you would! Here, for purposes of Fair and Balanced, is what Obama actually said during a short departure from his scripted remarks at an Easter prayer breakfast, along with video from The Hill, which we cannot embed:

On Easter, I do reflect on the fact that as a Christian, I am supposed to love. And I have to say that sometimes, when I listen to, uh, less-than-loving expressions by Christians, I get concerned. But that's a topic for another day.

Where there is injustice — I was about to veer off; I'm pullin' it back — where there's injustice, we defend the oppressed...

3. Some Christians need denouncin', Governor Quitterpants. Allow us now to throatcram you with the words of the Book of Matthew, a noted progressive-socialist text: "Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves. By their fruit you will recognize them." Thankfully, Sarah Palin is well-practiced in the hunting of wolves, from helicopters, as the Law of Moses commands.

Palin goes on to remind her viewers that no living Christian had anything to do with the Crusades before gettin' all tripped up by geography agin', consarn it.

The Christian faith faces extinction in its Middle East birthplace. Just weeks ago, jihadist went through a college dorm in Kenya, executing every Christian they could find. [news clip] That's just one of many atrocities.

A quick check of the shopworn Wonkette Pop-Up Atlas And Coloring Book reveals that, as of May 2015, Kenya is generally not considered part of the Middle East, for the seven thousandth year in a row.

Wrap this up for us, Sarah, we've got bloody marys to drink.

During Christianity's most sacred holiday, why couldn't our president find room in his heart to simply honor Christ, and stand with the persecuted and spare us his politically correct intolerance?

Don't know, Governor, but we're sure you'll tell us next week, and then the week after that, and then the week after that too.

The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report, presented by Fartknocker, was brought to you by Fartknocker.

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