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How many times do we have to cancel R. Kelly? It seems like every time we cancel his ass, he pops back up begging us to cancel his ass again. Last time we begged him to go away, we spent years having to explain that it is not okay to sleep with and piss on teenage girls. Also, the sex cult allegations are just too weird to process right now, but R. Kelly seems determined to make us think about horrible shit year after year.


This time, we have a BBC3 documentary about Kitti Jones, who once worked in radio as a DJ, accusing Kelly of coercing her into sex acts, starvation, and physical abuse, before discussing her escape from his “sex cult.” On top of that, a lawsuit has been filed by an unnamed victim, and apparently, the “Devil” is responsible for this entire thing, according to R. Kelly.

The “Devil” has been super busy running around for years and years, just lying on poor R. Kelly, who just wants you to know how innocent and Christian he is and that the media is making his life hell. Pretty much says this is “fake news” without using the words “fake news,” which leads us to believe he is lying his ass off. But no worries!! Mr. Kelly says this is all just some bullshit created by nefarious forces who want to undermine the career of a God Fearing Christian Man like himself. He has no clue why his shows are cancelled (dude, really?), and points to the fact that there is no criminal investigation. Why are we pressing him so hard, he wants to know? He says the ladies stay with him because they want to.

He also wants you to know that this hurts him most of all, and that he is being victimized by nosy people, but at least he still has music. He is simply heartbroken.

My focus has always been music and being in the music industry. At this time, my faith and my love for music are the only things that has not been affected. The devil is a liar. To whom much is given, from him much expected.

Maybe if you focused more on music and less on gathering up as many women as you can find to please you and call you Daddy, you wouldn't constantly be accused of sex crimes? This is just a question. Most people don't seem to find themselves in this situation year after year, no matter how busy the "Devil" is. We would really like to know why the "Devil" has been following Kelly around for decades making people accuse him of nefarious deeds.

Unfortunately for Mr. Kelly, the “Devil” is not accusing him of sexual abuse, actual women are accusing him of sexual abuse. And now that Time’s Up is on his ass letting him know that his time was up a long ass time ago, maybe this time he will go away. We doubt it, but it would be nice if he would stop getting away with allegedly abusing women, go collect his life, and shut the fuck up trying to blame the “Devil” for his problems.

[The Grio/Metro]

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Wonderbitch

FollowWonderbitch aka Bravenak aka Bianca DeLaRosa, loves her jobs as Social Media Manager for Wonkette more than Sarah Huckabee Sanders loves lying to America. Bianca also moonlights as a Witch (THE BAD KIND!!) and is a Freelance Goddess of All Things Ever. Be very nice her because she likes to curse people, especially mean people. You can find Bianca on Twitter @bravewriting or email her at bianca@wonkette.com

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Well, goddamn it, a wonderful person we'd never heard of until last night is dead. Lyra McKee was 29, an investigative journalist who specialized in looking at the legacy of "the Troubles" in Northern Ireland. She was murdered by someone shooting at police during rioting in Derry, or perhaps Londonderry, depending on who you want to piss off by using either name for the city. The rioting broke out after police "started carrying out searches in the area because of concerns that militant republicans were storing firearms and explosives" in advance of attacks planned to mark the anniversary of the 1916 Easter Rising. Police are blaming the violence and McKee's death on the "New Irish Republican Army," a radical republican group formed a few years ago from several smaller groups. Despite the name, the group has no ties to the old Provisional Irish Republican Army, which renounced violence and disarmed in 2005 following the 1998 Good Friday Agreement, which was supposed to have brought peace to Northern Ireland, and kind of did, at least much of the time.

McKee is being remembered by colleagues and readers as a promising journalist who was expected to go far. A year ago, McKee signed a two-book deal with Faber & Faber; the first of the books, The Lost Boys, an investigation of eight young men who disappeared in Belfast during the Troubles in the '60s and '70s, will be published next year. A 2016 Forbes profile said "McKee's passion is to dig into topics that others don't care about." For instance, CNN reports, McKee spent five years investigating a story about the only rape crisis center in Northern Ireland and its long struggle to regain funding after the government eliminated it.

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