The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report: Sarah's Getting Pretty Tired Of This Internet 'Job'

This week's edition of The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report, Presented By Fartknocker, is intelligible only if you speak election-year argle-bargle at a 12th-grade level or higher. Palin's most recent piece of content is completely incoherent, and yes, we know, everything she says is incoherent, ha ha ha. But we're serious here -- she's not even trying to connect these talking points, and worse, she's not finishing her punches either. She starts with ISIS and then stumbles into talking about downward pressure on wages from illegal immigration, and then it just ... sort of ... peters out ...

Here she is starting around the 0:30 mark:

Hard-working Americans have struggled to find good work, and when they do find work, that wages are low and they just can't seem to get ahead. Why? it's partly because the flood of illegal immigration makes labor cheap, so cheap that it's hard to make a living. Come on, President Obama, if you don't know that by now -- whew, it's, it's, you, eh...

Well, we don't protect our borders, the President isn't protecting our borders...

Why won't King Barack Hussein Nobummer protect the border? Because of "politics," and "pandering to special interests," says Palin, without elaborating further.

If you can't quite understand how ISIS is taking all of America's jerbs, you must not be aware that it is October in an election year. A recent piece in Salon by Wonkette emeritus Jim Newell might clear things up:

The GOP’s strategy for the last month of the campaign is Ebola, Secret Service, ISIS, and the Border. You take any combination of these disparate news events, connect them or don’t as you see fit, and somehow distill your concoction into an argument for why more Republicans should serve in the United States Senate.

See? "Politics."

And that's just about it for the Sarah Palin Channel this week! Palin's channel released two pieces of content in the last seven days: this rambling, incoherent glob of sputum scraped off the splashguards at a World Net Daily comment buffet, and a five-minute "Ask Me Anything" video. Everything else is more than one week old, and nine of the next 15 posts are old clips from her TLC show, Sarah Palin's Alaska.

Are you beginning to feel it? She's losing steam. Wouldn't you? We're exhausted by Palin, and we only have to cover her once a week. She has to cover herself 24/7.

Like following the McCain team's script or being the governor of Alaska, Palin is getting tired of this. It was so fun at first, such exhilarating freedom out here on the Internet, where she watched Glenn Beck make SO much money, ohmigod you guys. But now the weekly grind of satisfying the Internet's never-ending appetite for content is wearing Palin down. She's gonna quit this too, and Yr Wonket will be there to watch the light go out in her eyes, because we love you.

The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report, presented by Fartknocker, was brought to you by Fartknocker.

Follow Dan on Twitter.


How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc