Sen. Harry Reid (D-Badass)


Harry Reid, Wonkette's 2015 legislative badass of the year, continues to be a badass who gives no fucks, as he looks forward to his official retirement from the Senate. This time he has observed Donald Trump, xenophobic weaseldick and GOP presidential nominee, being racist and stupid, and also stupid and racist. Reid LOLed to himself, as he realized that the man who talks about deporting all the illegal Muslim Mexicans probably couldn't even pass a U.S. citizenship test, which is the thing that Muslim Mexicans take to become LEGAL American citizens. And you know what? Harry Reid is correct.

The entire press release is YA BURNT!

Since Donald Trump wants to impose new tests on immigrants, he should take the one test every immigrant has to pass to become a United States citizen. He would almost certainly fail, given his general ignorance and weak grasp of basic facts about American history, principles and functioning of our government. The fact is, Donald Trump is nothing more than a spoiled, unpatriotic drain on society who has earned nothing and helped no one.

MEOW.

“Unlike immigrants, Donald Trump represents none of the qualities that make America great. Immigrants work hard to get here and become Americans, while Trump inherited everything from his father and works hardest at Tweeting insults and ripping off hard-working people with two-bit scams.

“Immigrants renounce all loyalty to foreign interests, while Trump plays footsie with Putin and invites the Russian government to launch cyberattacks against our country.

“Immigrants pledge to defend America against all enemies foreign and domestic, while Trump insults Gold Star parents like Ghazala and Khzir Khan, and war heroes like my friend Senator John McCain.

Immigrants are smart and hard-working; Trump is an oversensitive bully who isn't good at business. Immigrants love America; Trump loves Putin and also himself, but maybe he's only pretending to love himself to cover for how he's an extremely insecure man who knows deep down that he's not good enough. AND SO ON. (Oh, and by the way? Khizr Khan has now challenged Trump to take a naturalization test too. LOL.)

Reid goes through several more direct comparisons and finishes with, "Immigrants make America great. Trump makes America small, petty and mean." Know what this is like? This is like Harry Reid has been mainlining "Goofus and Gallant" cartoons in his grandkids' back issues of Highlights For Children, and it's great.

So, is this Harry Reid's best trolling activity of the past year or so? Is it better than when he called Mitch McConnell "a lump of coal"? Is it better than when he attached gun control amendments to Republican attempts to repeal Obamacare? Is it better than when he declared Marco Rubio worse than Ted Cruz, because while Cruz may be bad for America, at least he applies himself and does the fucking work, whereas Rubio is a lazy sack of scattered gonad parts?

Yes, we think this is the best one of all, and we can't wait until Harry Reid is fully retired, so he can troll and hate full-time.

[Reid press release]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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