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Having successfullyfucked over a Texas charity last week, Stupidest Man on the Internet Jim Hoft decided to try some new formats over the weekend, and attempted a Buzzfeed-style listicle. For instance, based on a tip from a reader, he noticed some ideas in Elizabeth Warren's 'Eleven Commandments for Progressives" that were "EERILY SIMILAR" to the "25 points of the Nazi Party" as promulgated by Hitler in 1920. We looked at the two lists, and we have to agree: they are both lists!


First off, you have Warren's list of 11 principles that she said answer the question, "What does it mean to be a progressive?":

  • "We believe that Wall Street needs stronger rules and tougher enforcement, and we're willing to fight for it."
  • "We believe in science, and that means that we have a responsibility to protect this Earth."
  • "We believe that the Internet shouldn't be rigged to benefit big corporations, and that means real net neutrality."
  • "We believe that no one should work full-time and still live in poverty, and that means raising the minimum wage."
  • "We believe that fast-food workers deserve a livable wage, and that means that when they take to the picket line, we are proud to fight alongside them."
  • "We believe that students are entitled to get an education without being crushed by debt."
  • "We believe that after a lifetime of work, people are entitled to retire with dignity, and that means protecting Social Security, Medicare, and pensions."
  • "We believe—I can't believe I have to say this in 2014—we believe in equal pay for equal work."
  • "We believe that equal means equal, and that's true in marriage, it's true in the workplace, it's true in all of America."
  • "We believe that immigration has made this country strong and vibrant, and that means reform."
  • "And we believe that corporations are not people, that women have a right to their bodies. We will overturn Hobby Lobby and we will fight for it. We will fight for it!"

Warren also added that in her view, the chief tenet of conservatism is "I got mine. The rest of you are on your own."

WELL!

Then Jim Hoft points out:

This isn’t the first time we’ve seen a list like this.

As reader Tom W. reminded us, socialist party leader Adolf Hitler put together a similar list decades ago.

Yep, that Hitler was such a socialist, what with putting all the socialists in concentration camps. Now, we're not going to list everything in the Nazi Party list of 1920, because Hoft (or maybe his reader) highlights the ones that are EERILY SIMILAR to Elizabeth Warren's list:

13. We demand the nationalization of all trusts.

14. We demand profit-sharing in large industries.

15. We demand a generous increase in old-age pensions.

16. We demand the creation and maintenance of a sound middle-class, the immediate communalization of large stores which will be rented cheaply to small tradespeople, and the strongest consideration must be given to ensure that small traders shall deliver the supplies needed by the State, the provinces and municipalities.

Gosh, strong regulation of Wall Street IS exactly like nationalizing the banks, isn't it? And lord knows, the only people in favor of Social Security are Elizabeth Warren and her Marxist pal Hitler. And you know who else wanted a "sound middle class"? Besides every politician ever, we mean?

And the astonishing parallels just keep coming:

20. In order to make it possible for every capable and industrious German to obtain higher education, and thus the opportunity to reach into positions of leadership, the State must assume the responsibility of organizing thoroughly the entire cultural system of the people. The curricula of all educational establishments shall be adapted to practical life. The conception of the State Idea (science of citizenship) must be taught in the schools from the very beginning. We demand that specially talented children of poor parents, whatever their station or occupation, be educated at the expense of the State.

21. The State has the duty to help raise the standard of national health by providing maternity welfare centers, by prohibiting juvenile labor, by increasing physical fitness through the introduction of compulsory games and gymnastics, and by the greatest possible encouragement of associations concerned with the physical education of the young.

Yes, That Elizabeth Warren is in favor of students going to college and women having equal access to healthcare -- JUST LIKE HITLER!!!!

We hope that Gateway Pundit readers will immediately refuse to use other Hitlerian schemes, like the Interstate Highway System, or as we like to call them, Hitler Roads. And of course, we should also remind them that the Nazi doctors in Hitler's socialist medical system injected patients with "antibiotics" to "fight infection" -- another pernicious Nazi ideal that must be rejected by clear-thinking Americans.

Strangely, though, there are some parts of Hitler's agenda that don't sound all that much like anything Elizabeth Warren said. Consider these points from the same list. Don't they sound like something a Tea partier could get behind, especially with this big Crisis on the Border?

5. Those who are not citizens must live in Germany as foreigners and must be subject to the law of aliens.

6. The right to choose the government and determine the laws of the State shall belong only to citizens. We therefore demand that no public office, of whatever nature, whether in the central government, the province, or the municipality, shall be held by anyone who is not a citizen.

8. Any further immigration of non-[Americans] must be prevented. We demand that non-[Americans] who have entered [America] since August 2, [1990], shall be compelled to leave the [Republic] immediately.

America for Americans! Uber alles, even.

[Gateway Pundit]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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Guys, it's been one more shit day in a shit week in the fifth shit month of another shit Trump year. Which is why I need to remind you that it's not ALL shit out there! Oh, sure, it's MOSTLY shit, but you know what isn't shit? YR WONKETTE, and the strange community of strange internet people who have made getting through all this shit a bit more tolerable, that's who and what. Which is why you should give us money, so we can keep whanging away at the walls of shit with our shovels and laughing at the shit getting all over, because one of these days we will get it all cleaned up or at least not be up to our waists in shit, and we can all laugh about what a crazy fight it was, as St. Molly Ivins always kept reminding us.

In case you're new here, let me just remind you that Wonkette literally got me, Yr Dok Zoom, out of what wasn't quite poverty, but was pretty much paycheck-to-paycheck desperation. I started reading the site shortly before Barack Obama was elected, began commenting sometime in his first term, and submitted a story tip to Rebecca a few months after she bought the site for 47 dollars and a sandwich (I now understand it was a bit more than that). It was Memorial Day 2012, and she wrote back she was busy with some "stupid thing I have to do for some muneez," but would I like to try writing a blog post myself? "I understand if you say FUCK NO. But maybe you are thinking FUCK YES?" And then she warned me she paid only in Ameros. I did, the post was forgettable but OK, and then I wrote a thing (borrowed from now long-lost comments) that went semi-viral, and suddenly I was that hottest thing in publishing, a freelancer!

In less than a year, Rebecca asked you all to buy me to be your very own pet blogger, and my life suddenly became incredibly good, like as good as an Abba song. It's as good as "Dancing Queen." Thanks to the timing of the whole thing (and to Barry Obama and Nancy Pelosi), I actually had health insurance for the first time in years, a not inconsiderable thing. And you had an Editrix who was not working 12 hour days six and a half days a week and drinking too much from stress. Your continued donations helped hire Evan full time and Robyn and Bianca part time and a whole raft of freelancers, and now Rebecca is down to eight-hour days, five and a half days a week, and drinking because there's a madman in the White House and everything's terrible.

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There is a very normal article circulating on the internet right now by a fella named Don Boys (that's not the joke, the jokes are coming), who is both an insane batshit preacher, and also an insane batshit former member of the Indiana House of Representatives. (Also sometimes he blogs at the Daily Caller about how Mike Pence really went balls deep into the gay agenda when he swore in that insane batshit gay guy Rick Grenell as America's ambassador to Germany.)

This article, of course, is about Pete Buttigieg, because what are anti-gay buffoons obsessed with right now? Pete Buttigieg. Boys (still his name) is primarily concerned not with the simple fact that Buttigieg is gay, but with how gay Buttigieg really is. IN THE SEX WAY!

Well, Don, since you asked!

Shall we dive into this thing without the proper prophylactics? We shall.

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