Tim Kaine: Senator Of Dad Jokes
Even before last week's primary election in Virginia, we were planning on doing today's Senate Sunday on Tim Kaine, because even though he's dead serious about his commitment to fairness and equality, he also revels in the reputation he acquired as Hilary Clinton's running mate as "America's step dad" (or as John Oliver called him, "a human sweater vest").
Here's Tim Kaine's Father's Day reminder that being a dorky ol' dad is actually a pretty sweet gig:
Happy (almost) Father's Day to all the dads and dad jokers out there. Even if your jokes aren't appreciated, you ce… https://t.co/eIqmTVGBV5— Tim Kaine (@Tim Kaine) 1529091604.0
And while his Twitter feed isn't exactly a nonstop festival of dad jokes, when he does let one drop, it is the the Platonic ideal of the Dad Joke. And yes, we mean that as a compliment. Look upon his works, ye mighty, and groan:
This might surprise some people but I think this is the most polite White House in history. They’re always saying “pardon me.”— Tim Kaine (@Tim Kaine) 1528157882.0
Mind you, most of Kaine's tweets are serious senator stuff. That silly "pardon me" thing was preceded by several tweets celebrating the Virginia Legislature's finally passing Medicaid expansion, with a reminder that it was all thanks to higher-than-normal turnout in, ahem, an off-year election:
Big Democratic turnout in 2017 = health insurance for 400,000 more Virginians. Can we do it again in 2018?— Tim Kaine (@Tim Kaine) 1527724373.0
Also, in case you were wondering whether Tim Kaine and his wife, attorney and former Virginia Education secretary Anne Holton, are a good match, Kaine also retweeted her reaction to the Medicaid victory when she caught up with Gov. Ralph Northam:
There’s only one way to greet a Governor the first time you see him after he expanded Medicaid!! https://t.co/yj9M3G6vk0— Anne Holton (@Anne Holton) 1527897617.0
So, yeah, they were clearly meant for each other. And doggone it, people like Tim Kaine:
Getting off a plane today, a flight attendant put a small white bag in my hand and simply said “thanks." I was intrigued! When I took a look later, I found this sweet note and an energy snack kit inside! The kindness of strangers... #BeGoodToOneAnotherpic.twitter.com/RN7mVRs1zU
— Tim Kaine (@timkaine) May 29, 2018
Aww. We do too!
In addition to the healthcare tweets, Kaine has been very loudly condemning Donald Trump's family separation policy, the insane proliferation of guns (remember, Kaine was governor when Virginia Tech became -- for a time -- America's worst mass shooting), and, more recently, the bad racist joke Virginia Republicans chose Tuesday to run against Kaine this year:
Well, I have an opponent. He has stoked the fires of bigotry in Virginia. He's underfunded public schools and heal… https://t.co/0QjTynWuz2— Tim Kaine (@Tim Kaine) 1528855795.0
For those wanting to know about my Senate opponent, take a look at his latest bit of wisdom. An empty bucket ratt… https://t.co/KikRhsNmLv— Tim Kaine (@Tim Kaine) 1528998554.0
Was Tim Kaine bothered that the "president" has enthusiastically endorsed his opponent?
Congratulations to Corey Stewart for his great victory for Senator from Virginia. Now he runs against a total stiff… https://t.co/D1LN5YAQob— Donald J. Trump (@Donald J. Trump) 1528883731.0
He was not:
My week: Trump tweets that I am a “total stiff.” But he called Kim Jong Un a “very talented man.” I’ll take it! 🤷♂️— Tim Kaine (@Tim Kaine) 1529109921.0
And we suppose we'll now depart very briefly from our mostly-Twitter-based format here (damn right -- it's Father's Day and I don't feel like working too hard), to bring you this perfectly bizarre Corey Stewart interview with CNN's Chris Cuomo, in which Stewart declares that North Korea is no longer a nuclear threat, Hillary Clinton may still be locked up, and Tim Kaine will probably be locked up as well, because obviously he's a criminal too:
Yep, Stewart is actually going full Trump here, and perhaps even outdoing the master in just plain making shit up, because why not?
I'll tell you something, I really do believe that Tim Kaine has been at the center of all this stuff that you're seeing with regard to the FBI. You know, the whole problem is having the FBI spying by federal agency on a presidential campaign [..]
It started with Democrats in the Commonwealth of Virginia, and Tim Kaine is right at the center of this. I would not be surprised if there's an investigation of Tim Kaine before the year is out.
You may be astonished to learn this is the first anyone's heard of Tim Kaine being at the center of Spygate. And possibly the last, unless Stewart decides it plays well and keeps repeating it. The completely made-up claim doesn't appear to have gotten any traction so far; not even the Gateway Pundit has picked it up, and they believe everything. Still, you have to acknowledge Stewart may get some mileage out of his Trumpian balls-out "so what if I'm lying? I like lying!" approach -- When Cuomo pointed out there was no proof at all of what he'd said, Stewart shot back, "We're not in a court of law, are we?"
That'd make a pretty good campaign slogan: Corey Stewart: He'll never lie to you if he's actually in danger of perjury charges.
As dumb accusations go, it's right up there with the time in 2016 when North Carolina Republicans accused Kaine of wearing a "Honduras flag" pin in his lapel instead of the US flag. The chickenhawks at the NCGOP didn't recognize the pin proclaimed Kaine's support for his son, who at the time was deployed overseas in the Marines.
For a review of all the things that suck about this Stewart guy, see Robyn's excellent piece on him. In a normal year, Stewart wouldn't have even made it past the primary. The fact that he won the nomination is all the proof that you need that this isn't a normal year. Kaine's popularity and fundraising advantage (some $10 million cash on hand) are no reason to assume he's a shoo-in for reelection. True, Stewart has already gotten the cold shoulder from the National Republican Senatorial Committee; it's chair, Sen. Cory Gardner, has already said the party's money will be going into other fights. Stewart may be able to turn that into an anti-establishment advantage.
But in our new crapsack reality, there's little comfort in knowing Stewart is a baldfaced liar who openly associates with white supremacists. That was almost enough to win him the GOP nom for governor last year, and it was exactly enough to get him the nomination for US Senate this year. Tim Kaine should be able to beat this pond scum. Please send him money here.
OK, and also enjoy one more video of Tim Kaine just being a big ol' dad:
The #spellingbee finals are tonight, so here’s a #tbt to 2013 when I had some fun at a bee myself (and somehow won)… https://t.co/0LxwzOn6PU— Tim Kaine (@Tim Kaine) 1527809941.0
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Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.