Time For Jackbooted Thugs To Take These Parents' Babies Away Forever For Real
An Indiana couple has been arrested for handing their baby a gun and recording the hijinx on a cellphone. Don't worry, though -- they are criminals and therefore categorically unlike responsible gun owners who would never do something like this:
How's this for a grab bag of modern fears all in one story? Police in Evansville, Indiana, found the video on 19-year-old Michael Barnes's cell phone after they arrested him for attempting to sell a handgun to an undercover cop -- in a deal arranged through social media. After finding the video -- which features Barnes encouraging the baby to say "Pow! Pow!" -- police arrested the child's mother, Toni Wilson, 22, as well and charged both her and Barnes with child neglect and "criminal recklessness with a deadly weapon," in addition to the charges against Barnes for the illegal weapon sale. The 12-month old baby and the couple's one-month old twins were placed in emergency care, and we'd just like to take this opportunity to thank the jack-booted thugs of CPS for getting all those babies out of the reach of these irresponsible idiots.
[contextly_sidebar id="rIgD7WaBVfi4sbHf09rgk5WObNYpiAJh"]But is this truly fair? Police say that the weapon in the video is a .40 caliber semiautomatic, but Ms. Wilson insists it was only a pellet gun, which we guess could never harm a baby, so let's give the kid back. Also, watching the video, it's pretty clear that the gun barrel is designed for those big .40 caliber pellets, so there may be a bit of "she-said / the evidence said" going on here.
Happily, no responsible gun humping parent would ever pose their baby with a gun, because that's just nuts. As this random sampling of images from the Googles indicates, the Indiana couple were obviously just criminal thugs with no appreciation for how to handle a firearm.
Now, we're willing to bet that not a single one of these guns is loaded, which makes them safe, because "unloaded" guns are only deadly in every third story on accidental shootings. The important thing to remember here is that if Barack Obama tries to Take Our Guns, there's a whole bunch of well-armed babies he's going to have to get past, unless they've already shot their mommies and daddies and grandparents. America's armed toddlers say with one adorable little voice, "Mowon Wabe!
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.