Let's Watch Jamie Raskin Dick-Kick Matt Gaetz, We've All Earned It

There was a hearing this morning in the House Rules Committee on the contempt referral for Steve Bannon passed by the House January 6 Committee last night. If we'd realized what a shitshow it would become, we would have put up a livestream. Oh well.

GOP seditionist Reps. Matt Gaetz and Jim Jordan showed up at the hearing and rubbed themselves all over it, like pomeranians who need their anal glands expressed. In this post, we'll focus on Gaetz, because what most people are talking about is how constitutional law perfesser and Democratic Rep. Jamie Raskin just drop-kicked Matt Gaetz's very large face so far up into outer space that, well, quite frankly, you could still clearly see it, because his face is too large for his body.

Our point is that it was just real good.

Raskin asked:

RASKIN: Do you agree that 61 different federal and state courts, including eight judges that Donald Trump appointed himself to the federal bench, have rejected every claim of electoral corruption or fraud that have been advanced, do you agree with that?

Gaetz grumbled some idiot words about "jurisdiction" and "claims not evaluated." The mean courts wouldn't even hear these very good cases, including the mean courts ruled over by Trump appointees!

Raskin went at him again:

RASKIN: Do you have ANY case authority in the land, of those 61 cases or any other cases, where a court has determined that there was electoral corruption or electoral fraud that materially affected the outcome of the election in ANY state in the union? Do you have one?

Gaetz, tripping over his own dick, said he believed the entire judiciary had failed us, and what a shame that was, but that doesn't mean there was no fraud. It just means there wasn't any REMEDY for the "fraud." (And by "remedy" we guess he means the courts failed to agree that whatever mediocre white Republican men say about election outcomes should be the final word.)

Raskin, correctly assessing that he was dealing with a trollish moron, replied that "There's no remedy because there's no violation, Mister Gaetz."

And when Mister Gaetz tried one more time, this was the reply that came back:

RASKIN: That might work on Steve Bannon's podcast, but that's not going to work in the Rules Committee of the United States House of Representatives, I'm sorry, forgive me.


Elsewhere during Raskin's questioning, Gaetz, acting like a real boy with a real point to make, breathlessly accused Raskin and the rest of the committee of only caring about January 6 because the "Russia hoax" had failed, and now they have nothing else to talk about. To which Raskin literally replied, "Blah blah blah. OK."

So that was Matt Gaetz getting fed his own dick by Jamie Raskin, and during a week when reports are coming out that Gaetz's wingman is really spilling a whole lot of exciting and unexpected things to the feds right now, which is reportedly helping with A LOT of investigations.

So that's tough.

As for the rest of today's hearing, yes, Jim Jordan was there too, and if you really want to spend your afternoon watching clips of a guy who looks like he's wearing a stranger's TJ Maxx hand-me-downs scream out-of-breath rants in the halls of Congress, knock your ass out. Spoiler, he yelled a lot. At one point, he whined about getting interrupted, and Raskin said, "Well continue Mr. Jordan, because everybody's always violating your rights." It actually seemed to make Jim Jordan shut up for a minute and calm down. It was funny.

But instead of focusing on Jordan, we will instead close with this delicious shade from Rep. Norma Torres of California:

Did you catch that? We know you caught the part about paying for sex with a minor, because you know about the Gaetz investigation. But the part about protecting people under their jurisdiction? Ohio State? Anybody?

Yeah that was pretty darn good.


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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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