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Time Travel With Wonkette To The Marvelous Day When John McCain Picked Sarah Palin, America's GILF

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Following Willard Mittsworth Moneybaggs Romney IV's introduction of hisexciting Veep pick, Paul Ryan, Your Wonkette presents a look back at the heady days of 2008, when enfeebled man-who-would-be-king John McCain invigorated his moribund campaign by choosing as his running mate an exciting fresh face with impeccable conservative credentials, Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin. While news outlets around the nation asked themselves, "wait, WHO?" Wonkette readers were already well aware of who she was: Alaska's GILF, the hottest Maverick ever depicted in LEGO (which, as nerds, we know is a singular mass noun; the individual little pieces are not "Legos," but "bricks" ... which is what most of us also shat at the thought of the empty-headed moose-shooter being a heartbeat away from the Presidency).


So join us on a trip down memory lane as we present the blogging equivalent of a clip show. Hey, remember the time we went to Alaska and became frenemies with a crazy lady?

Whatever else we can say about Paul Ryan, we can guarantee that he will not be nearly as entertaining.

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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Happy Sunday!

In case you hadn't heard -- last week, Glenn Beck's BlazeTV merged with CRTV to form an unholy voltron of right-wing drivel. Yes, for $10 a month you can watch a bunch of low budget talk shows that all appear to be mostly the same low-budget show, featuring a variety of mostly rando conservatives you've never heard of. Except for the racist guy from that duck show, whom you have heard of but probably forgot about entirely. I know I did!

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The rumors WERE true after all! John Kelly will be getting "You're Fired" retiring at the end of the year. The news of Trump and Kelly's divorce comes after months of speculation that the two had suffered irreconcilable political differences. As with previous failed marriages of convenience, Trump will keep everything, including the White House, and leave his former partner with only a crushed soul, an non-disclosure agreement, and a lifetime of regrets.

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