Today's Lesson: Make Sure Your Sex Contracts With Law Students Are Ironclad
You're old enough now that we can probably tell you about this. Sometimes when a rich lawyer and a law student like each other very much and are going to do lots of lawyer-pays-student sexytime, they write up a contract to ensure mutual satisfaction. But sometimes those contracts aren't written very well and hilarity ensues.
First off, let us find out what went into this sexytime contract. Turns out it went through many rounds of negotiations, like you do when you're contracting for sexytime for monies. London Big Firm Lawyer tried to muscle Sexytime Student into a confidentiality clause in the contract she simply did not think was fair, so she signed the document with only part of her signature because every law student knows that magically makes it not a legally binding document. Wait what?
In Mr Chief Justice Roberts' Libertarian Fun Zone where there's no government regulation at all, who enforces the contracts? And who cleans up all the hazmat these wonderful corporations chuff out into the air and drain into the rivers and bury in landfills?
Couldn't the "unnamed sexual act" have been, say, blowing a kiss? Or holding hands? Because both parties to the contract seem rather...shy.
An oral contract isn't worth the dick or vadge it's not executed on, as Sam Goldwyn might have said.