You've no doubt been following the discussions about the Violence Against Women Act super closely, yes? And in doing so, you've been thinking "hey, I wonder what disgraced felon quitter angerbear reality show star Tom Delay thinks of this bill a full 7 years after having to step down from the body that can actually consider it?"Wonder no more, Wonkexicans:

Former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay, who is currently out on bail while appealing his three year prison sentence in his corruption case, took the time to join Rick Scarborough on a March 7th Tea Party Unity conference call where he criticized the Violence Against Women Act.

He attacked the law because it “includes homosexuality, transgender; setting up all kinds of different classes of sexual deviance,” and later called it “unconstitutional.”

Yes, yes...once you add the most minimal protections against living-shit-beating-out-of into a bill, you're pretty much dressing your boy toddlers in dresses and taking them down to the docks to jerk off sailors. BEWARE.

Tommy Boy didn't just show up to the [tea] party to wax philosophic about how it is totes OK to beat up sexually nonconforming type peoples and if you can't then the terrorists have already won. No, he also took some quality time to fap while remembering his good old days:

This is how we took over the House for the first time in forty years in 1994’s election is that for five years we spent five years providing alternatives to everything the Democrats were doing: alternative bills, alternative amendments, alternative press releases. We expressed ourselves by always having an alternative. The same here, if there is a Violence Against Women Act there should be a conservative alternative. First and foremost, they should point out the fact the whole act itself is unconstitutional.

Dude, 1994 was the BEST. Ace of Base on the radio ALL THE TIME (no, really, go look it up), Forrest Gump quotes everywhere, and the Republican revolution! Glorious fucking time everybody. And clearly the GOP won that year because of the fantastic logic that you express yourself by having an alternative, and your alternative is that everything should be thrown out. Come to think of it, your younger, newer, hotter GOP is pretty much the exact same thing:

Step one: be obstructionist motherfuckers.

Step two: ??

Step three: SUCCESS.

[Right Wing Watch]