Tom DeLay Ex-Consplains How Real Americans Totally Heart Hero Ted Cruz Actually

Tom DeLay Ex-Consplains How Real Americans Totally Heart Hero Ted Cruz Actually

Remember that one time Republicans shut down the government and threatened to crash the entire economy because that sumbitch Obama refused to repeal his entire presidency and let Ted Cruz live in the White House? So disrespectful! Who does that guy think he is, some kind of president whose health care reform was signed into law and upheld by the Supreme Court? And remember how the entire country rallied around Sen. Ted Cruz and begged him to impeach Obamacare by any means necessary, and the approval numbers for the entire Republican Party went through the roof, and Americans sent all kinds of love letters to Congress saying, "Thank you so much for saving us from Obamacare, please keep the government shut down forevah!"

No? That is not how you remember it? Then you must not live in Real AmericaTM.

But former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay (R-Texas) insisted on Thursday that most people in the "real world" consider Cruz and the House Republicans to be heroes.

"When you're in a fight, people just don't like the fight, so they're going to respond negatively," DeLay said on CNN. "It's who wins and comes out of the fight that has long-lasting effects. And I got to tell you right now, out here in the real world, outside of New York and Washington, D.C., these people think Ted Cruz is a hero. They think that those Republicans in the House are heroes. And they think that Obama is destroying this country."

Never mind those polls showing that most Americans -- even the Flyover-Americans who don't live in New York or D.C. -- blamed the Republicans for the Republican shutdown and that they hate the bejesus out of Republicans even more than they did last month and would maybe prefer that Democrats run the House next time around, thank you very much. Everyone who is Tom DeLay knows polls are "not dynamic" and merely a media "narrative" that does not reflect, like, how people think about stuff. Besides, DeLay walks with the Lord, so he has it on good authority from the great Pollster In The Sky that Cruz is just the "leader" Americans have been begging for all these years. Sure, some not-real Americans might think they hate Cruz and the Republicans, but they'll come around eventually. And just in case they don't, Republican Rep. Darrell Issa will conduct investigations to figure out how this whole mess Republicans created is actually Obama's fault anyway, and then Cruz and the Republicans will be vindicated and recognized for the heroes they are, so there, amen and pass the ammunition.



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