Tony Perkins Will Save The Children From The Perils Of Learning

It's back to school time boys and girls and parents who are sick and tired of the boys and girls hanging out at the house eating and sleeping and being bored all day. This means it is of course also time to start worrying about paying for school supplies, back to school clothes, updated immunization cards and how leftists are thought controlling all our childrens in public schools by being nice to the gays. Thank White Jesus there is Amazon and the Family Research Council. Yes, our dear friend and favorite gay-scout-slayer Tony Perkins is dropping some serious warnings on parents this month with an insightful and not at all fearmongering-for-cash newletter-prophecy of the coming schoolpocalypse:

"Beginning THIS MONTH…they don’t want any American child to escape. Read how we can STOP them"

Tony Perkins also wants to teach people the value of making reasoned arguments through rational understatement. But he is right, children escaping from schools are a giant pain in the ass. What can be done?

If a foreign enemy had plotted to infiltrate America, I’m not sure an army of undercover subversives could have done more damage than our government-run schools….

Leftists don’t want a single American child to escape their thought control. And they are crowding out true education.

First of all, IF? Our man Tony is slipping here as obviously since the illegal election of Barack HUSSEIN Obama, the US has been completely infiltrated by the Muslim Brotherhood of Loving Gays and Vaginas, but we digress. Tell us more about this "true education" sir!

Today’s science classes often feature big-government political propaganda, taking time and focus away from true science. Not to mention attacks on the Bible and arrogant censoring of any theories like intelligent design that challenge their Darwinism.

BUT, BUT! Our Attacking the Bible 101 and our Arrogantly Censoring Intelligent Design for the College Bound Child are two of our favorite classes, Tony!

For those lucky enough to be on the FRC's mailing list, there is a SURVEY! A completely hetero-normative survey filled with "does this happen in YOUR child's school??" questions about all the most pressing issues concerning our failing education system today, including:

  • “Positive portrayals of homosexuality or negative portrayals of those who don’t affirm homosexuality”
  • “Not enough teaching of the Christian roots of America”
  • “Absence of presentation of intelligent design theory”
  • and “Not enough teaching on the virtues of limited government and free enterprise”

Let Go and Let God America! The man who has actually bragged about his big old fisted hand in Bobby Jindal's buggering of Louisiana's education budget has got this shit on lock down. Pray, hate a gay and eat free enterprising Taco Bell school lunches every day. And that's how we will beat the Chinese.



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