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Every corner. We could have had them on EVERY corner! (No, not the dudes)

CNBC reports that Donald Trump imposed those fun new economy-wrecking tariffs on Mexico at the urging of his immigration Obersturmbannführer Stephen Miller, even though the idea was opposed by Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin and US Trade Representative Robert Lighthizer, according to administration sources. Further, we learn that Trump decided to go ahead and announce the tariffs without a lot of consultation with other economic advisers, because he was "riled up" over immigration talk on wingnut radio. That all sounds perfectly normal, presidential and stable genius-y to us, for sure!


CNBC notes that while Mnuchin and Lighthizer don't share economic ideologies much, their joint opposition to fucking over the US economy in hopes that Mexico would magic all the Central American asylum seekers away "marked a rare moment of unity" for the two.

Also, there's this fine nugget on President BigBrain's decision-making process:

Trump's move was announced as the administration's most prominent free-trade advocates — including economic aide Larry Kudlow and Vice President Mike Pence — were not around to argue against it. Pence was in Canada on Thursday. Kudlow, a former CNBC contributor, was undergoing surgery for a hip replacement, according to three sources.

Hee hee, Trump is probably just tickled by how cleverly he avoided even having to talk to those boring guys who might not have let him have any fun at all. "When Kudlow's in traction, The Donald's in action" he may have muttered to himself.

The Wall Street Journal broke the news that Lighthizer opposed the tariffs, which will supposedly be increased each month immigrants still exist, until topping out at 25 percent on all Mexican goods brought into the US. "Lighthizer is not happy," according to one administration official who spoke to the Journal. Can't see why, since the tariffs will merely devastate US auto manufacturing, food imports, and agriculture.

The Journal also reported a former administration official said, "This is something he's talked about for a long time but people always talked him out of it." Again, we can only imagine how delighted Trump must be, for the moment. Give it a month or two and we'll no doubt hear that 1) Trump is pissed off that none of his economic advisers are team players, and that's why the tariffs aren't working; 2) He's certain the tariffs really are working, but traitors in the US government are personally driving Central Americans across the border in Mad Max cars, and 3) Could we please just start shooting people, please?

Fortunately, Lightizer's office is at least disciplined enough to completely disregard whatever the trade representative actually thinks, because everyone there knows how to keep a job in Trump's Washington:

Jeff Emerson, a spokesman for the trade representative's office, said Mr. Lighthizer "supports what the president is doing," without addressing whether he supports the new punitive tariffs, specifically.

"Oh yeah," said Trump to himself, "When Lighthizer's dozin', his people are brown-nosin'!"

In addition, White House Trade Advisor Peter Navarro told CNBC today that slapping import duties on Mexican imports just makes sense, since Mexico has been engaged in unfair trade -- in human beings, you see:

If you look at it from an investor's point of view and a corporate point of view, what we have in Mexico is the export, one of their high exports, of illegal aliens. And it's a criminal enterprise. [emphasis added -- Dok Z]

That's some darn smart economics-ing from a top US trade official. Next we can expect to hear that Mexico is manufacturing immigrants below fair market value, and the USA just can't keep up with its own creation of poor, desperate people fleeing violence. Fuck is he even talking about?

Navarro, the top trade expert, also echoed Donald Trump's own favorite lie about who pays tariffs, which are a tax applied on imports, don't you know. Jesus, even a rhetoric major knows that.

In conclusion, it's Friday and we don't have to think about this shit for a few days until it bites us on the ass again, goodnight.

[CNBC / WSJ / CNBC]

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Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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Blanket Disclaimer: Spitting on anybody is dead wrong. Even if it's a Trump.

Still, Eric Trump got to eat a tiny slice of the shit pie women, minorities, poors, disabled, and all of the other people who are deemed "takers" or who come from "shithole countries" experience at some point in their lives: He got spit on. By a woman, according to Breitbart (no link), because we are evil. Woe unto the wealthy white man! Wealthy white men are some of the most abused and marginalized people in the Universe, according to wealthy white men, and Eric Trump is no exception. Please cry for wealthy white men, ok you can stop now. Another group of Americans that are constantly abused, marginalized, and even denied their rights by the very same type of wealthy men that spawn such men as Eric Trump, are called "women." And apparently we are mean as fuck now.

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Well folks, we think we have a geopolitical relations first for an American president. We might need to consult with Doris Kearns Goodwin or Kevin Kruse, but we cannot recall a time one of America's purported enemies OR friends has called the president of the United States "retarded" or anything along those lines. We remember leaders hating American presidents. We remember them recoiling like UGH GET OFF ME when an American president tried to give them a friendly sensual love massage during the G8. We remember them literally attacking our democratic elections in order to prevent the inaugurations of potential presidents they despise and fear. But we don't remember anything like this.

President Hassan Rouhani of Iran, commenting on Donald Trump after the Trump administration threw some new sanctions at Iran on Monday:

Iran warned Tuesday that new U.S. sanctions targeting its supreme leader and other top officials meant "closing the doors of diplomacy" between Tehran and Washington amid heightened tensions, even as President Hassan Rouhani derided the White House as being "afflicted by mental retardation."

Here is the full quote, in case you were wondering if something was lost in translation, like that time Vladimir Putin called Trump "brilliant" and Trump was so excited he left a ring of orange jizz around the bathtub, but what Putin actually said in Russian more accurately translates as "colorful" or "shiny." There's no confusion here:

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