Top 6 Times Joe Scarborough 'Liked' Hillary Clinton
Hulu just released a documentary about Hillary Clinton, whom you might remember from such events as the 2016 presidential election. Hillary is a compelling look at the former first lady and groundbreaking presidential candidate, which highlights how much of a badass lady in charge we always knew she was, and by "we" I mean those of us who've voted for her or at the very least never accused her of murder.
Hillary has inspired a wave of new fans for Clinton, including Joe Scarborough, the host of MSNBC's "Morning Joe."
The former Republican congressman might seem an unlikely passenger on the Hillary bandwagon, but don't let common sense influence your opinion. Scarborough has always been in love with
Eastasia Clinton. Here are some of the most memorable examples of Scarborough's deep affection and abiding respect for Hillary Rodham Clinton.
Scarborough Voted To Free Clinton From The Burdens Of Being First Lady
When Scarborough was in the House, he voted to impeach Bill Clinton on both BS articles of impeachment. This was back in 1999, which — if I've set my clock correctly for daylight saving time — came after 1995, when Scarborough first met Clinton. This was probably a favor: He wanted her to have something to focus on besides her public humiliation. Impeachment was like a crossword puzzle or knitting.
Scarborough Defended Clinton's Right To Profit Off Her Husband's Affair For Her Own Political Gain
During Clinton's first presidential campaign, Chris Matthews grossly claimed that the reason Clinton was "a US senator, the reason she's a candidate for president, the reason she may be a front-runner is her husband messed around."
MATTHEWS: That's how she got to be senator from New York. We keep forgetting it. She didn't win there on her merit. She won because everybody felt, "My God, this woman stood up under humiliation," right? That's what happened.
Scarborough at the time rushed to Matthews's defense. He declared it "outrageous" that Matthews had to later apologize for saying something stupid.
SCARBOROUGH: That Bill Clinton scandal with Monica Lewinsky clearly helped Hillary Clinton politically because she showed enormous grace under fire, she showed just how strong she was, she continued doing her job.
This was probably a compliment, but it's a perverse one. Clinton showed "enormous grace under fire" when she tried to reform health care. Men should seek treatment for whatever political kink it is that makes them find Clinton or any other woman politician more likable or appealing after they've been kicked in the teeth.
Scarborough Fiercely Advocated For Clinton's Rights As A Robot Lifeform
When Clinton was considering whether to run again in 2016, Scarborough was a little upset that she didn't declare her intentions on his preferred timeline.
SCARBOROUGH: What Hillary Clinton has done over the past year or so is why Americans hate politics … It just is …You play it safe. You then write a book. You say absolutely nothing. You go around on a glorified book tour where you say absolutely nothing ... Like —no creativity, no spontaneity, nothing from the heart. This is Hillary Clinton's problem for people that know her and like her, like I know her and like her. But she puts on that political hat and then she's a robot.
Clinton was a lifeless robot, but Scarborough also thought she goofed off and enjoyed herself too much, which is a common concern with robots.
SCARBOROUGH: Hey Hillary, lead, follow or get the hell out of the way. I don't want to see you eating steak.
No steak for robots! Just chug some semi-organic nutrient suspension in a silicon-based liquid medium and tell us how to stop ISIS! People are dying over here.
SCARBOROUGH: I want to see you talking about how we're going to stop ISIS, not behind some cute little prepackaged plan that some of your handlers fixed up or somebody helped you write in a book.
It was a wonder Clinton's head could fit through a door with all this lovey dovey talk.
Scarborough Never Stopped Reminding Viewers That Clinton Was A Big Liar
During the 2016 general election campaign, Clinton released a statement about her nonsense email "scandal." Scarborough thought it was full of lies and that Clinton needed to stop lying to voters. By the way, the other candidate in this presidential race was Donald Trump.
SCARBOROUGH: It's pretty remarkable ... I don't understand why you put out a statement like that. Stop lying, stop digging.
Scarborough was kind enough to workshop alternate statements for Clinton that she could presumably forcibly read as if she were in a hostage video.
SCARBOROUGH: I screwed up. I'm terribly sorry. I hope the American people will forgive me and I hope they will let us move on to the issues that matter.
Even in polls that showed Clinton with a healthy lead over Trump, a majority of voters still considered her "dishonest" and willing to "bend the rules." That obviously helped normalize Trump, so good work there, Morning Joe!
Scarborough Hyped Up Clinton As More Corrupt Than Donald Trump
Less than two weeks before the 2016 presidential election, Scarborough and "Morning Joe" co-host Mika Brzezinski claimed on live television that the Clinton Foundation was somehow more corrupt than the Trump Foundation, which was shut down just a couple years later.
SCARBOROUGH: This is sleazy and everybody knows it's sleazy. You're trading in public service while somebody is Secretary of State ... You're shaking down the world for $66 million instead of a Rolex watch or a life-size portrait. Somebody is going to win a Pulitzer prize for finding a life-sized portrait of Donald Trump that he paid money for with the family foundation. We're talking about $66 million, maybe a $100 million.
BRZEZINSKI: I call that more than ethically challenged.
And I call that total bullshit.
Scarborough Believed Clinton Was So Awesome Only Inanimate Objects Could Defeat Her
After Trump's unlikely win, Scarborough, like many others in the media, refused to believe his obsession with Clinton's emails or how often she smiled had anything to do with her loss. It was all Clinton's fault. Anyone could have beaten Clinton, including a half-assed fascist to whom Scarborough gave loads of free and flattering air time.
SCARBOROUGH: My pet rock could have gotten 45 percent against Hillary Clinton. Maybe if my pet rock didn't make any gaffes in the three debates, my pet rock could have beaten Hillary Clinton. This election was not about Donald Trump. It was all about Hillary and Bill Clinton.
As people die around us, Scarborough might want to put his ego in its box and consider just whose fault it was that the election wasn't about Donald Trump.
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Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He's on the board of the Portland Playhouse theater and writes for the immersive theater Cafe Nordo in Seattle. Tickets are on sale now for his latest Nordo collaboration, "Curiouser and Curiouser," an adaptation of "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass." It promises to feel like an actual evening with SER (for good or for ill).