Donate

well, unless you have ladyparts, in which case suck it.


And then there were five. Jeb! is gone, along with a passel of other folks who were as awful as the remaining GOPers but just didn't have the staying power or requisite level of insanity. Although we all know by now that Trumpkins is going to be the nominee and America is pretty much a literal trash fire, we have to at least pretend that there's a horse race with Cruz and Rubio.

Inexplicably, both John Kasich and Ben Carson are still hanging on. Carson, we understand -- he is probably too sedated to even notice he is losing. Kasich, on the other hand, is just stone cold delusional about his chances. We can't entirely blame him, however, because he's probably still drinking the delicious Kool-Aid flavor called "John Kasich is actually a moderate."

We are here to tell you that flavor is garbage. That flavor is a lie. Witness Kasich's latest super moderate action: defunding the ever living fuck out of Planned Parenthood in Ohio.

The bill strips state and some federal funding from health clinics that perform and promote "nontherapeutic abortions," including Planned Parenthood facilities.

While the bill grants an exemption to abortions performed in cases of rape, incest and preserving the life of the mother, it jeopardizes the fate of other vital women's health programs.

For example, the $1.3 million in state grants that Planned Parenthood is slated to lose was allocated toward HIV testing, cancer screenings and programs that help prevent domestic violence and infant mortality.

Pffft. Who needs HIV testing or cancer screenings? Sluts, that's who! Everybody knows if you keep your legs closed, you never get cancer in your ladyparts. That's just science fact. And as far as preventing domestic violence and decreasing infant mortality rates, we're sure that Kasich's insane plan to re-introduce the Crusades will somehow make that happen, right?

We used to be more worried about making sure people understood just how terrible Kasich is, what with him doing things like working hard at coming across as Cool Uncle Who Loves Bands You Love Too As Long As You Love Linkin Park. But since he pulled a whopping 7.6 percent in South Carolina and currently possesses only 5 delegates, we aren't really all that afraid of Kasich-mentum leading him across the finish line. If only the rest of the GOP field wasn't a nightmare hellscape, we might be glad.

[HuffPo/GQ]

$
Donate with CC

It was bound to happen. We're now watching Republican congressmen react to Donald Trump sitting in the Oval Office and saying "RUSSIA IF YOU'RE LISTENING" during an interview with George Stephanopoulos, literally inviting hostile foreign powers to attack the 2020 election for him like Russia did in 2016. And if you thought there wouldn't be at least one of them to say the quiet part loud and state for the record that crime is good if it helps Republicans win, then you haven't been paying attention to the Republican party in quite a while.

Enter GOP Rep. Chris Stewart of Utah, who sits on the House Intelligence Committee, AKA the committee whose members really should know better, even the Republicans, but unfortunately they don't because A) they're idiots and B) they've been sucking at Devin Nunes's dairy cows' teats (ALLEGEDLY) for too long:

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC

Spinal Tap - Gimme Some Money

Some dick is suing your Wonkette! If you are able, will you please send money?

1. Pick "just once" or "monthly."

2. Pick an amount, like say "all of the money."

3. Click "paypal" if you are paypal or "stripe" if you are not paypal.

4. MONEY.

5. Carry on with your day, and with new posts below!

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

$
Donate with CC
Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc