Christlike Tow-Truck Driver Leaves Disabled Bernie Supporter On Side Of The Road
Jesus take the wheel!
Many Christians, when faced with a tough decision in life, ask themselves "What Would Jesus Do?" Ken Shupe, a South Carolina tow-truck driver, asked himself just that when faced with the moral quagmire of whether or not to tow the car of a disabled woman who made it clear through her bumper stickers that she supported Bernie Sanders for PRESIDENT of these United States. And lo, when he thought about it, the Lord Jesus came unto him and said "Just leave the bitch."
"Something came over me, I think the Lord came to me, and he just said get in the truck and leave. And when I got in my truck, you know, I was so proud, because I felt like I finally drew a line in the sand and stood up for what I believed."
So, you know, basically it is a beautiful and holy miracle. Except for 25-year-old Cassie McWade.
McWade had been in a car accident, and when her family called up their regular mechanic, he was unable to go help her out. So he called his buddy Ken Shupe of Shupee Max Towing in Traveler's Rest, South Carolina (are you writing this down, South Carolinians?), to go in his place. So, after McWade waited about an hour for Shupe to get there, he walks up to her and explains that he cannot tow her car. Because of the Bernie Sanders bumper sticker Jesus hates so much.
McWade then had to wait another hour-and-a-half for another tow truck driver to come get her.
Shupe later explained to reporters at WLOS-13 that Bernie Sanders supporters are socialists who do not pay their bills. You know, because that is what socialism is. He also says he was not aware McWade was disabled, despite the handicap placard dangling prominently from her rear view mirror. McWade has "psoriatic arthritis, fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and early-stage Crohn's -- the latter of which she says made having to wait that long to get to a restroom "terrifying." Shupe says that even if he'd known she was disabled, he would not have towed her car, but that he would have waited with her until another tow-truck driver who was not terrible at his job came to get her.
Since Shupe's appearance on the local news, the Shupee Max Towing Facebook Page has gotten many, many new reviews. Shockingly, many of these reviews suggest that Jesus -- even though we all know how much he hated the things Bernie Sanders supports, like free health care and feeding people -- actually might NOT have been super into the idea of leaving a disabled person on the side of the road because you do not like who they are voting for. Very strange!
Perhaps the next time Mr. Shupe gets a call for a tow -- should that ever occur again -- he could graciously inform the customer ahead of time that he will not be towing them should their political beliefs not coincide with his so that they do not have to waste their time waiting for him, only be to be abandoned upon Jesus's whim.
[H/T Christian Nightmares]
Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. In addition to her work at Wonkette, she also has a biweekly column at Dame. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse