Trey Gowdy DEMANDS Madison Cawthorn Say Which Republicans Are Big Orgy Guys, SAY IT!

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Trey Gowdy DEMANDS Madison Cawthorn Say Which Republicans Are Big Orgy Guys, SAY IT!

Let's dip a toe back in and see if this thing about young Madison Cawthorn and his possible schoolboy fibs about cokeboner orgies (Roger Stone says REAL) is still going. Hooray, it sure is!

Trey Gowdy got on Fox News the other night, and the former GOP rep from South Carolina had some WORDS for this little first-term shitbird talkin' out of school about XXX caucus meetings and whatnot. Yew wanna name some names, Madison? If yew name some names, Trey Gowdy'll investigate it 58 times like he investigated Benghazi, but yew better name some names!

Ohhhhhh, he is high and mighty like a bumpkin country lawyer what just got his prize milk cow insulted by somebody who should know better!

My question for the congressman is simply this: Who? Give us the names. If you’re being invited to cocaine parties by colleagues, tell us who invited you! Who used illicit drugs in front of you? Who broke the very laws they passed, and expect to us follow?

A Republican? Snorting DRUGS and breaking LAW?

GOWDY: Which of your colleagues thinks he or she is above the law? Who is doubling as a deviant by night while talking about family values by day?

Is that really a roll call any DC Republican wants to happen?

The good ones don’t make the news, the bad ones get all of the attention.

GOWDY: I was in DC for eight years, and the people I associated with it were nothing like what this congressman described.

He's about to tell you what the people he hung out with were like.

GOWDY: Tim Scott’s idea of a wild time was ordering dessert.

Tim Scott was into "dessert." Does that sound like an orgy thing to you?

GOWDY: John Ratcliffe would run an extra mile! Jim Jordan would do extra pushups!


GOWDY: Kevin McCarthy, now, he did take us to see movies, and one time, he did order butter popcorn if that counts.

Kevin McCarthy did the butter popcorn one time. Does that sound like an orgy thing to you?

GOWDY: Joey Kennedy’s nickname was ‘milk,’ because It was the strongest thing he drank.

Try to put the words "milk" and "orgy" together in a sentence, KNOW WHAT? YEW CANNOT.

Also, they called him "Milk"?

GOWDY: Jason Chaffetz didn’t need milk because he didn’t even drink coffee.

Mormons are not allowed to have fun.

GOWDY: The people that I was around did none of what you described ever ...

Just good clean fun for these boys.

GOWDY: so if you are invited to NC -17 parties

"NC-17"? Is that the correct movie rating for "come to my orgy"?

GOWDY: and watching people do cocaine, then you're hanging around with the wrong people, but you should name them, so their constituents know what they are doing on the people’s dime.

We continue to agree with the sorely offended Republicans on this point.

GOWDY: And if, on the other hand, none of what you described really happened, you need to admit that too. [...] Either tell us who you saw doing cocaine and who invited you to sexually explicit parties, or admit what we suspect, which is that you made it up.

Stop fibbin', young man!

GOWDY: And then ask yourself where fairness and honesty fall on the list of qualities we should be looking for in members of Congress.

Not anywhere in the Republican Party, so let's simmer down, Trey.

Well, this has been fun.

Now about that "deviant by night" family values DC roll call. Journalists, get to digging.

Should be fun, with all of them canceling Disney in the name of hating LGBTQ people.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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