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He looked so happy.


Jeff Sessions got an erection today. It had been a while. As we expected, Donald Trump dispatched the hayseed racist attorney general from the Confederate States of America to announce they will "wind down" the DACA program for undocumented children brought here illegally by their parents, giving Congress six months to fix it, and giving almost 800,000 innocent DREAMers six months to prepare to go back to their own countries, which is weird, since America is the only country most of them have ever known.

Watch as Sessions pulls his white hood off to 'splain us how fucking these people over is the "compassionate" thing to do:

Sessions claimed, baselessly, that the DACA program led to a surge of unaccompanied minors at the border, which is funny since DACA doesn't remotely apply to those people. Of course, Trump and Sessions are only doing this for their base of cousin-romancing white supremacists, and those people won't be swayed by simple facts like that. Sessions said DACA beneficiaries took away precious American jobs, another lie he pulled out his ass. And he said Barack Obama's executive action on DACA was "unconstitutional," which is weird, because if executive actions involving immigration are unconstitutional, then how about Trump's constant attempts to ban Muslims through executive fiat? We look forward to Trump supporters explaining how this is different because "reasons." (Racism reasons.)

Want more lies from Sessions? Here's the letter he sent to Homeland Security:

To be clear, DACA beneficiaries are the exact kind of immigrants the white nationalists in the White House (unconvincingly) say they want in America. 97% are either employed or in school, and a higher percentage of them have college degrees than the general American public.

Buzzfeed notes that this "wind-down" of DACA is Sessions's little pig turd baby (and Stephen Miller's baby and Steve Bannon's baby) and quotes a White House official who said Sessions had put Trump "in a box," since he was just flat dang unwillin' to defend the policy in court. The New York Times reports that Trump had been looking for "a way out" of taking this action, and adds, unbelievably, that "as late as one hour before" Sessions's statement, White House people were worried "Mr. Trump might not fully grasp the details of the steps he was about to take, and when he discovered their full impact, he would change his mind." This is what happens when you elect a barely sentient child who lives inside a flabby orange senior citizen's body as your president.

To be clear, all Trump wanted was to get out of being blamed for the fallout from this fulfillment of one of his most hateful campaign promises. It had nothing to do with his "feelings" about DACA immigrants, even though he said many times that "we love the DREAMers" and that he wanted to deal with them with "heart." (Read more on that here from Josh Marshall.)

What is bugfuck amazing about this, especially coming from a president who enjoys approval ratings only slightly higher than cat shit, is that literally NOBODY WANTS THIS. (Nobody who matters or contributes to the American economy in any meaningful way, anyway.) Over 75% of Americans support DACA, including TWO THIRDS OF TRUMP VOTERS, as Philip Bump reports in the Washington Post. Over 400 business leaders told Trump to keep his tiny paws off DACA, too.

So let's be clear about what just happened: This was a love letter from Trump and Sessions to the Nazis and white supremacists who marched through Charlottesville with tiki torches, some of whom Trump reminded us were just lovely folks.

Let's see how Breitbart's Deplorable in the White House reacted:

So, where does it go from here? Well, maybe Congress will act! Our GOP-led Congress is so very good at getting things done, after all! And maybe Trump will sign a thing, if Congress sends him something! Or maybe Trump will hold it hostage if Congress fails to give him the funding for his stupid fucking ineffective ugly ass border wall. Who can say!

The Washington Post has a good explainer on how this "six-month wind-down" affects DREAMers immediately, and the short version is that six months from today, March 5, 2018, most of them are screwed.

So how evil was this little stunt? So fucking evil. Conservative columnist Jennifer Rubin says it's Trump's most evil act so far. Josh Marshall says this is the equivalent of Trump and Sessions kicking DREAMers out of a plane at 10,000 feet and saying they hope Paul Ryan catches them.

If you want to fight back, check out the DREAM Act Toolkit, which identifies key swing votes in Congress and offers tools to get the message to them that, on top of being cruel and terrible and evil, this action will fuck the American economy right up. It even has handy images for you to tweet at them, that show exactly how much money those folks' states stand to lose if DACA goes away forever:

So feel free to harass the shit out of them on Twitter! If you see your congressman or senator on the list, CALL THEM. Also, sign this petition demanding the GOP to allow a clean vote on the DREAM Act right the hell now.

Whatever you do, do something. This is not about "immigration policy" or the Constitution or anything else. This is ethnic cleansing, pure and simple, and it's happening IN AMERICA.

Anyway, but her emails, though.

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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