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Well, we kind of had a feeling that would go poorly.

On Tuesday, between whiny ass tweets about Nervous Nancy and Adam The Witch Paraphraser Schiff and whatever else, Donald Trump found time to tweet out a picture of his all-by-myself no-press-allowed Oval Office meeting with Russian foreign minister Sergei Lavrov, as you can see above.

He explained in that tweet that they talked of "many things," including "Trade, Iran, North Korea, INF Treaty, Nuclear Arms Control, and Election Meddling." Oh really, sir? Did Trump get right up in that Russian's face and say "HEY NO MEDDLIN'"? Even though last time Trump was in the Oval Office snuggling with this particular Russian, we later found out that he specifically told Lavrov that he actually doesn't care about Moscow intervening in our American presidential election, not least obviously because it's one of the only two reasons he "won"? (The other was spelled C-O-M-E-Y.)

The official White House readout of the meeting -- which is obviously a lie because it's coming from the Trump White House, the real record of what happened is either being put on the super-secret server for state secrets and Trump treasons, or maybe Trump just confiscated it from a translator like he did that time in Helsinki -- also says Trump "warned against any Russian attempts to interfere in United States elections," LOL yeah OK sure.

What say you, Sergei Lavrov? Did you talk about that? Lavrov was asked the question at a presser at the Russian embassy after his meeting with Trump:


UNLISTED: Russian FM Lavrov holds presser in Washington DC ENG www.youtube.com

And Lavrov's answer, in the Russian language, was "LOL nah." In another response, he said he told Trump that Secretary of State Mike Pompeo had warned him earlier in the day about election interference, and that he had blown off Pompeo's ridiculous suggestion that Russia had hacked our election, claiming there was no evidence.

And yes, there was a presser earlier in the day at the State Department with Sergei Lavrov and Mike Pompeo, where Lavrov LOLed at the idea that Russia attacked our election, while Mike Pompeo shyly said "Did too either!" but it was clear from the body language who was the boss of whom in that situation.

Here are a couple of videos of that embarrassment:

The Pompeo/Lavrov presser got even weirder:

Lavrov [said] Russia had not seen any proof of election meddling, and when a reporter suggested he could simply "read the Mueller report," he said there was "no proof of any collusion" in the report.

According to a transcript published by Russia's Foreign Ministry, he also cryptically said the Kremlin was "ready to publicize the correspondence between us and the American administration regarding allegations of interference."

"We will be ready, as soon as Washington confirms its consent, to publicize these documents that are important to the public," he was quoted as saying.

Oh yes, we cannot wait to see these totally real documents from the Russian government proving Russia is innocent, you betcha, mmhmm!

Oh how humiliating this all is for the United States! The Russian foreign minister, who technically ranks lower than Donald Trump -- guess Putin is withholding a White House meeting from Trump just like Trump is doing to Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy -- is literally, on American soil, calling bullshit on what the American president and the White House said about their meeting, and filling the American president's head with Russian propaganda about what really happened in 2016 at the very same time.

In our first piece on this meeting, Liz went through the history of what happened last time Sergei Lavrov visited the Oval Office, in May of 2017. Trump leaked code-word level classified intelligence to the Russians, and he told them how glad he was he had just fired that "nut job" James Comey, and that now he could do lots more sexxxy stuff with Russia because the pressure of that pesky Russia investigation was gone. (It was not gone.) And as we mentioned above, he told them Russian meddling was awesome, or at least OK with him, wink wink nudge nudge. Not long after the meeting, the CIA had to exfiltrate its most valuable source in the Kremlin, at least in part because of worries that Trump would burn the source to the Russians after what he had just done in the Oval Office with the Russian foreign minister and ambassador.

This time, it came the same day articles of impeachment were introduced against Trump, and a day after a summit in Paris where Vladimir Putin and Volodymyr Zelenskyy sat down, mediated by European counterparts, to talk about maybe one day Russia pulling its tanks and its guns and its missiles and its dick out of Ukrainian soil and stop the war it started. Of course, as the Washington Post noted:

This is a lonely moment for Zelensky. Once-ironclad U.S. support for Ukraine is shrinking under President Trump.

And then the next day, who gets a White House meeting? Not Zelenskyy!

In other words, FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUU, UKRAINE!

So what really happened in the meeting between Trump and Lavrov? Dunno, but we're going to guess they took turns reverse-Santa-ing each others' laps, telling each other what they wanted for Christmas and/or the 2020 US election. Trump probably promised he had been a VERY GOOD BOY and Lavrov probably just tickled Trump in spots unknown and reminded him of all the sanctions that have yet to be lifted. Or something.

If we're wrong, the White House is free to pull the transcript out of the Bin Laden server and tweet it out, if only to show just just how perfect it was.

[Daily Beast]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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