It is a truism in American politics that presidents, especially Republican presidents, become a REAL MAN the second they decide to make a boom boom in a foreign country, preferably one populated by brown people. So it is that our mainstream media is already making GIGGLE-JIZZES over how Donald Trump suddenly discovered that "beautiful little babies" were dying in Syria (breaking news from Obama's first term!) and decided we needed to hurl 59 Tomahawk missiles at a Syrian airstrip. At least that's the public reason for the attack, which, like World War II and all other wars, was directed from the Situation Room in the public dining room at Mar-a-Lago.

The prize for the most OMG SHUT UP FOR THE REST OF TIME reaction to Trump throwing 59 of his biggest dick-missiles at Syria goes to Brian Williams on MSNBC, who just sat there in awe at how pretty our missiles were, as they flew through the sky to kill stuff. For Williams, apparently, it was like a cute kitten video and an Upworthy story about an anonymous lady who gave a server a 5,000 percent tip, all rolled into one!

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.


How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc