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ABC News, July 30

Donald Trump is not a fan of science. If he absolutely has to know anything about it, he prefers to get that knowledge from the best experts, like anyone making a buck off drilling oil or cutting down trees. So it shouldn't be the least bit surprising that when he finally got around last night to mentioning the disastrous wildfires in California, he didn't mention the nine deaths so far (that header image is from a week ago) or even compliment the brave firefighters. Nah, he posted a tweet blaming everything on environmentalists. It was complete bullshit, but harked back to a favorite talking point of rightwing nutzoids: If it weren't for evil greenies, California would have more than enough water, but environmentalists hate prosperity and YOU.

So here's the genius of the man who knows global warming is a Chinese hoax to force America into economic serfdom (He deleted it, but the internet is forever):

We will say using "tree clear" as a verb phrase is one great way to smart brain there. But what the hell is Trump getting at? Does he really think California is flushing all its water into the Pacific, for funsies? Of course he does! This is because he is an idiot.


In mere reality, the San Francisco Chronicle asked the California Department of Forestry and Fire Protection whether firefighters were having any trouble getting enough water to fight the fires, and their spokesperson, Lynette Round, said, "Not that I'm aware of ... but that doesn't mean it's not happening." So there you go: vindication! Or maybe entirely too much deference to the assumption Trump has far more information than anyone else.

Anyone who follows rightwing obsessions knows exactly what Trump's referring to: the utterly false internet conspiracy theory that radical environmentalists, driven by their literal pagan worship of Gaia, have used the Endangered Species Act to divert virtually all of California's abundant river water into the Sacramento-San Joaquin River Delta, all for the sake of a stupid little endangered fish. This is bullshit, and if you'd like the details, here they are. Executive summary: That's some bullshit there. 1) It isn't all the water and 2) Gotta send some fresh water into the bay so salt water doesn't back up into the delta and aquifers, which would be way worse for everyone. Big surprise! The water diversion myth is pushed by Big Ag and its rightwing pals.

UC Merced professor LeRoy Westerling, one of those coastal elitists who think they know everything just because he specializes in climatology and wildfires, told the Chronicle Trump's "not enough water" tweet was also some bullshit, too. Man knows his rightwing myths, at least.

"On the water side, it boggles the mind," he said. "We do manage all of our rivers in California, and all the water is allocated many times over. So I'm not sure what he was recommending."

Even if we eliminated all habitat for riparian species and fish, and allowed saltwater intrusion into the delta and set up a sprinkler system over the state, that wouldn't compensate for greater moisture loss from climate change."

Westerling told the intrepid reporter what his version of a tweet about the wildfires would say, too:

Ongoing warming and accelerated climate change are driving unpredictable increases and extreme fire in California across a wide range of ecosystems.

"Warming"? "Climate change"? "Ecosystems"? Clearly just a lot of fake science buzzwords from a guy who doesn't understand real science, which is that either pagan fish are stealing all the water, or maybe Jesus is withholding the rains because He's really mad about all the abortions and gays.

Oh, yes, and the "must tree clear to prevent fires" thing? Totally taken from that other apostle of ignoring science to help the logging industry, George W. Bush, who pitched the "Healthy Forests Initiative" -- which opened huge tracts of federal forest to increased logging -- as a "fire prevention" measure. Yes, it was some bullshit too. Exactly like Trump's very own plan to stop highway deaths by rolling back fuel economy standards.

Next, we suspect Trump will announce a plan to start exporting California's forest fires to Canada. Some guys just want to watch the world burn.

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[San Francisco Chronicle / Guardian]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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