Trump Campaign Manager, Data Guru Very Bad At Campaigning, Data
It's admittedly a challenge to run Donald Trump's re-election campaign. He's just now through his first term, and his most significant legislative achievement is his own impeachment. Unfortunately, Trump's campaign manager is Brad Parscale, who according to our legal experts is a "shameless hustler." Parscale and his beard, which is mostly house trained, visited Fox News studios Monday to peddle fact-less "data." It didn't go well.
Parscale triumphantly informed Fox's Bill Hemmer that Trump is an unstoppable electoral behemoth. He's got amazing numbers among all the key demos Republicans don't actively prevent from voting.
PARSCALE: The numbers are up. You can look at things like Rasmussen, which was right in 2016. Every standard we have in measuring what's going on with the president and trying to win victory in 2020 we're doing better.
Yes, he said "win victory." That must be their stretch goal. They only "won defeat" last time. This time they're going for the popular vote, as well as the Electoral College. Parscale's problem, though, is that he's "measuring what's going on" using "every standard" but math. Hemmer confronted Parscale with "numbers" and not commie numbers from CNN but numbers from a Fox News poll of suburban voters. Those are numbers that stand for the national anthem.
HEMMER: November of 2016... Trump led Hillary Clinton among suburban voters by four points. Among suburban women, he trailed her by only seven. We did a poll here at Fox about a month and a half ago and those numbers are very different... He now trails by 11. Among suburban women, he's down by a whopping 24 points. How come?
Parscale's response was a wilted world salad, but the closest he came to a point was that the December numbers only reflect voter approval of the president. That's different from having to choose between Trump and Hunter Biden on the ballot. While true, that pokes a large hole in the Republican argument that impeachment "nullifies" the votes of 63 million Americans. Most of those voters who aren't named Vlad aren't happy with the president.
He claimed the campaign's "internal numbers" have never been higher. Some are even over 50 percent. Those are either entirely made up numbers or polls of Trump's family. Parscale also suggested that suburban women would come around when they saw the impressive stats about ladies' unemployment. This makes no sense. Aren't these women already aware that they have jobs? They know their mortgage checks are clearing. They still don't like Trump.
Hemmer pushed Parscale on why Trump's approval numbers are in the toilet, and Parscale insisted the numbers "aren't right." That's what a partisan hack says. An actual "data guru" doesn't dismiss polls just because the results hurt his boss's feelings. Parscale argued desperately that the Fox poll reflects a weary electorate that has "tuned out."
PARSCALE: Honestly, because of impeachment and everything else, they've shut down. They're enjoying the Super Bowl. They're watching football games. They're enjoying this country's great economy. They're not sitting around watching this stuff.
It's like he's trying to hypnotize voters: "You are very sleepy. Everything is wonderful. You are enjoying the Super Bowl. It is much better than Cats." Sorry, it's not going to work. Trump has a reckoning with voters in November, and feel-good "data" won't save him.
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Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He's on the board of the Portland Playhouse theater and writes for the immersive theater Cafe Nordo in Seattle. Tickets are on sale now for his latest Nordo collaboration, "Curiouser and Curiouser," an adaptation of "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass." It promises to feel like an actual evening with SER (for good or for ill).