trump donald GIF

The results of the Wisconsin recount are in! And Team Trump paid $3 million to add 87 votes to Joe Biden's margin of victory.

Womp womp.

The grifters on Team Trump have raised millions of dollars from their cult members so they can continue their absurd legal challenges to the election results. And so far, they are on quite the streak! If by "streak," you mean massive skidmark, being slapped down by court after court.

And now the Trump team has another notch to add to its belt, after paying $3 million to add votes to Biden's total.

Did we mention they paid $3 million to add votes to Biden's total? We should mention how they paid $3 million to add votes to Biden's total.

Rather than put up the $7.9 million for a full recount, the bootlickers over at the Trump campaign decided to only ask for a recount in Milwaukee County and Dane County — the state's two Blackest and most liberal counties.

In the original tally, Biden won Wisconsin by 20,608 votes. THREE MILLION AMERICAN SMACKEROOS later, Biden has won Wisconsin by 20,695 votes.
In Dane County, Trump actually did gain a few votes — 45, to be exact. And in Milwaukee County, Biden had a net gain of 132 votes. So the absolute genuises who contributed money to this farce paid a total of $3 million to increase Biden's victory over Trump by "132 minus 45 votes," which by our mathematical calculations is 87 votes. For Biden. For $3 million.

You love to see it.

Trump, for his part, tweeted more bullshit and announced on Saturday — before the recount was over — that his team would be suing.

Tomorrow is the deadline for the state to certify its election results.

The "Wisconsin Voters Alliance," a group of Trump sycophants, filed suit last week, seeking to block the certification. The group is represented by Erick Kaardal, a former official with the Minnesota Republican Party who represented Kanye West in a lawsuit to get him on the Wisconsin ballot. That very serious and definitely not at all sham of a lawsuit sought to get courts to rule that when a deadline is at 5 p.m., getting there after 5 p.m. should totally count. (Yes, really.) Kaardal also filed a bullshit lawsuit in Wisconsin that sought to block Mark Zuckerberg and Priscilla Chan's Center for Technology and Civic Life foundation from donating $6.3 million to Green Bay, Kenosha, Madison, Milwaukee, and Racine. Because fuck charity!

As Wisconsin Attorney General Josh Kaul said when Kaardal filed his latest suit,

The litigation filed this afternoon seeks to disenfranchise every Wisconsinite who voted in this year's presidential election. The Wisconsin Department of Justice will ensure that Wisconsin's presidential electors are selected based on the will of the more than 3 million Wisconsin voters who cast a ballot.

Wisconsin Governor Tony Evers has already asked the state supreme court to dismiss the suit, calling it a "mishmash of legal distortions" that uses lies to try to suppress the votes of millions of Wisconsin residents.

The Wisconsin Voters Alliance suit makes a whole bunch of inane arguments that the Trump campaign is likely to crib if it actually follows through with trying to block the state from certifying its election results. Republicans are whining about all sorts of entirely legal things, including people voting by mail, using two different colors of ink, and just generally POC and Democrats voting. There are also some fun arguments claiming "Republican ballots" were returned but not counted, despite zero evidence, and despite the fact that voters in Wisconsin do not register to vote by their political party.

It's all ridiculous nonsense, but as long as Trump's brainwashed superfans keep sending money for these bullshit suits, we expect the narcissist-in-chief will keep filing them.

Unless the Trump Team or Erick Kaardal draw a judge who has no qualms with fascism and ignoring the law entirely, we expect the Democratic chair of the bipartisan Wisconsin Election Commission to certify the state's results by tomorrow's deadline.

[AP / WaPo / Milwaukee Journal Sentinel]

Have you followed Jamie on Twitter yet?!

Wonkette is fully funded by readers like you! If you love Wonkette, FUND US!

Do your Amazon shopping through this link, because reasons.

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Jamie Lynn Crofts
Jamie Lynn Crofts is sick of your bullshit. When she’s not wrangling cats, she’s probably writing about nerdy legal stuff, rocking out at karaoke, or tweeting about god knows what. Jamie would kindly like to remind everyone that it’s perfectly legal to tell Bob Murray to eat shit.

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc