Trump Campaign: WAAAAAAH DEBATES ONLY FAIR IF TRUMP GETS TO CHEAT WAAAAAAH!

Heckuva job, y'all, flawless victory, ayup.

Oh Jesus Christ.

We already knew the Commission on Presidential Debates's announcement that it was going to change the rules, including allowing moderators to cut Trump's mic whenever he starts screaming out of turn, was a fool's errand. Tuesday night's shitshow was a shitshow partially because Trump refused to abide by the rules that were already there, choosing instead to heckle Joe Biden, heckle Chris Wallace, and heckle the entire American electoral process. Because he's not running against Biden, he is running against America. 

Of course, any new rules, whether they involve cutting mics or the bark collar Trump really needs, would, we assume, have to be agreed upon by both campaigns. And already the Trump campaign is whining that the new rules are WAAAAAAAH UNFAAAAAAAAAIR, even though they haven't been released yet.

Yesterday, it was just clown dipshit lies from Trump clown dipshit campaign spox Tim Murtaugh:

"They're only doing this because their guy got pummeled last night," said Trump campaign spokesman Tim Murtaugh.

Sure, Timberly, that's definitely what happened.

Let's get some quotes from off-the-record Republicans and Trump people on how that debate went for Trump:

"He blew that for sure,"a campaign adviser told me. "It's nuts," a former West Wing official said wearily, sounding like a storm survivor with PTSD. "Total lunacy," said another former White House staffer, who remains close to the campaign. "Trump didn't win over any voters, and he pissed off a lot of people," added a prominent Republican. [...]

"Trump thinks he won. He didn't," said another Republican with ties to the campaign.

He didn't.

But he does think he won:

Why would I allow the Debate Commission to change the rules for the second and third Debates when I easily won last time?

— Donald J. Trump (@Donald J. Trump) 1601576126.0 

Of course, holding another opposing opinion to that is Undecided Voter Ruthie from Pennsylvania from Frank Luntz's focus group, who called Trump a "crackhead." Twice.

But other than that, Tim Murtaugh, flawless victory!

By the way, the first major scientific post-debate poll, from CNBC/Change Research, shows Biden opening up a 13-POINT LEAD, YES, THAT'S RIGHT, IT IS 54-41. Also according to that poll, people think Biden won the debate, 53 to 29.

But anyway, HECKUVA JOB, Tim.

Also, note how Murtaugh lies and says THEY'RE doing this, like the nonpartisan CPD is working for the Biden campaign. Which tracks with how they're whining that Chris Wallace, the Fox News guy, also RIGGED the debate against Trump. You betcha.

Today it's Ronna Romney McDaniel, who like Murtaugh is paid to spout bullshit for a criminal president, spouting bullshit:  

"I hope the Committee on Presidential Debates does not change the rules to once again protect Joe Biden from answering to the American people," McDaniel said.

Hey asshole, pretty sure cutting Trump's mic is precisely the thing that would ALLOW Joe Biden to "answer to the American people." Asshole.

Word salad:

"I don't think you should be changing the rules that they have agreed to and I do not think this commission has the right to just arbitrarily change rules without talking to both candidates and getting agreement and input from both sides," McDaniel said when asked if she would support such a change.

As the Hill reports (we are not watching the Fox News interview this came from and you can't make us), Ms. Romney McDaniel says it would be fine to change the rules so if Joe Biden hasn't answered the question yet, you can't move on until he does. Clearly she is mad Biden wouldn't say whether he is going to put 19 Black lesbians on the court or institute a mandatory cow buyback program for the Green New Deal, taking people's cows right out of their cold dead hands:

"Maybe then we'll get a real answer from Joe Biden as to how he is honestly going to govern," McDaniel said on Fox. "Do you support the Green New Deal? Do support law and order? Are you going to stack the Supreme Court? Are you going to get rid of the filibuster?"

We continue to be amused how they are swearing up and down that Joe didn't say "law and order," when he literally did. It was a whole thing, that he supports law, order AND JUSTICE. 

But whatever, asshole, go off.

In summary and in conclusion, the Trump campaign is whining, which is not winning.

Meanwhile, the next debate is a town hall format, where it was already going to be harder for Trump to bully everyone like a pants-pissing tyrant, since it's kinda difficult to look at an American voter who is a nurse asking about Trump's destructive coronavirus response and call her a Deep State Fake News-ing Antifa Bitch Monster. (Not that we'd put it past Trump.)

Meanwhile, Joe Biden's entire thing is connecting with people on a personal level.

Can't wait to see his post-SECOND-debate bounce in the polls.

[ Vanity Fair / Axios / The Hill ]

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