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Kellyanne, it's time to get your game face on, girl! President Sundown Syndrome just held a press conference to brag about Mueller's conclusion that the president committed "essentially no obstruction." (Not actually Mueller's conclusion, as he rather famously didn't make one.) "Essentially no obstruction" is an odd turn of phrase, so we fully expect to see Mrs. Conway on all the programs splaining that there is a five-count minimum for an obstruction of justice prosecution, and anyone who says otherwise is FAKE NEWS.

No collusion, and essentially no obstruction. Of course a lot of people say, "How can you obstruct when there was no crime? When there was no collusion, how can you possibly obstruct?"

NO. Literally no legitimate legal "people" say that you can't obstruct an investigation if the underlying crime is never prosecuted. Here are 800 former federal prosecutors who say the exact opposite. But more to the point, did Donald Trump just confess to obstruction of justice? A soupçon? A smidge? Some light treason?

He's just like the Menendez brothers, who committed essentially no murders.

Or OJ, who led essentially no slow-motion car chases in a white Ford Bronco.

Or Aldrich Ames, who committed essentially no spying.

Or John Wilkes Booth, who essentially never assassinated a president.

Or Benedict Arnold, who was essentially trustworthy and loyal.

We had been led to believe that the Mueller Report was a full exoneration of the president and his family, who cooperated fully with the investigation. But in light of Mr. Trump's remarks, we just went back to give it a closer look, and HOLY HELL. It turns out Donald Trump may have essentially obstructed justice on multiple occasions. Tell us, Lawfare!

  1. Trump tried to end the FBI investigation of Michael Flynn, who lied to the FBI about his conversations with the Russian ambassador.
  2. Trump fired Comey and then confessed to both the Russian ambassador and Lester Holt that it was because of the Russia investigation.
  3. Trump attempted on multiple occasions to get his staff to fire Robert Mueller or limit his investigation to prospective Russian interference.
  4. Trump tried to get Jeff Sessions to un-recuse himself and drop the hammer on Robert Mueller.
  5. Trump dangled pardons to influence the testimony of Flynn, Cohen, and Manafort.
  6. Trump tried desperately to hide the substance of the Trump Tower meeting with allll the Russians.

You know, ESSENTIALLY NOTHING AT ALL. It almost seems like Attorney General Bill Barr was essentially engaged in a massive coverup when he went out there and pretended that the Mueller Report was a bigly win for the president. Must be nice to be able to essentially confess to a crime and have your GOP bros in congress pretend it never happened so it barely makes a ripple in the news cycle.

We are fucked. Essentially.

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