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While most of our attention was focused on the first day of public impeachment hearings yesterday, Donald Trump welcomed to the White House his very good friend Recep Tayyip Erdogan, the strongman president of Turkey. In a press conference that aired shortly after the end of the day's House hearings, Trump said he's a "very big fan" of Erdogan and complained that impeachment "is a sham, and it shouldn't be allowed." Especially because it was happening while his best pal Erdogan was in town. How dare the Democrats ruin the visit of such a fine man!

Well, at least his thugs haven't shitkicked any Americans this time. Yet.

Also, while reading his teleprompter speech about US-Turkey relations, which are the best ever, Trump repeatedly mispronounced his very good friend's funny foreign name, saying "air-da-gahn" instead of "er-do-wan." Real friends don't get too hung up on little details, and only Muslims care about pronunciation, like how Obama exotically said "Paki-stahn" accurately. Republicans know if it doesn't rhyme with "tacky fan," you're probably in thrall to foreigns. Not that they'd use a fruity word like "thrall," either.


Here's the whole dipshit-and-dictator show:

WATCH LIVE: Pres. Trump, Turkish president hold joint press conference at the White House | ABC News youtu.be

Among the many great moments in the presser, Trump explained he has a "great relationship" with the Syrian Kurds, and what's more, so does Erdogan, at least after driving them out of their democratically run enclaves.

"Many Kurds live in Turkey and they're happy and they're taken care of," the President said, standing side by side with Erdogan. He called anything to the contrary "really a misnomer."

So very happy to be genocided, that's for sure!

Erdogan used his prepared statement to castigate the House resolution condemning the 1915-1923 genocide of Turkey's Armenian minority by the Ottoman Empire, because it's nobody's business but the Turks'. Through an interpreter, Erdogan said the 405-11 US House vote was the product of "some circles who are empathetic towards these terrorist organizations" -- meaning the Kurdish allies Trump betrayed. Virtually all members of the US House of Representatives, you see, are

deeply disturbed, and they are using this disinformation in order to cloud the understanding of the public opinion … with the eventual gain or goal of harming our relations,

That's a very normal thing for a foreign leader to say, with the US president nodding along like a bobblehead (not that he was listening, or had any idea what Erdogan meant).

Once the questions started, Trump was careful to only take questions from two sources he deemed friendly to him, One America News for Nitwits and Fox. As for the impeachment hearings, Trump didn't watch a single minute, because it's a total joke and the whistleblower lied when he completely accurately described Trump's call with the Ukrainian president.

You know, the best legal minds today who work for Fox News have all approved of that call!

Fox lawyer Andrew Napolitano, who said soliciting election help from a foreign leader is clearly a crime, is not one of the best legal minds today.

When Fox reporter John Roberts disloyally asked a real question, about Bill Taylor's testimony that an aide listened in on a phone call in which Trump asked Gordon Sondland "about the investigations" he was demanding from Ukraine, Trump said it was the first time he'd ever heard of such a thing, nah, never happened, what call? He doesn't remember, no quid pro quo, Pocahontas, no collusion, build the wall, coocoo for cocoa puffs.

Trump also injected a moment of levity into the presser by making a funny joke about how Turkey imprisons more journalists than any other country, because isn't that a great idea? He invited Erdogan to call on a reporter, any reporter from Turkey, as long as it was "A friendly person from Turkey, friendly. Only friendly reporters. We like to see, there aren't too many of them around."

Lindsey Graham (more on him in a moment) commented on that to ABC's Jonathan Karl:

Hollow Mordant Laughter!

And golly, did the Turkish reporter ever fit the bill! She referenced "Obama's flawed foreign policy" of allying with the Kurdish People's Protection Units (YPG) in the fight against ISIS, even though they are of course dangerous terrorists, and praised Trump for "mending" the damage that alliance had done to US-Turkey relations. Trump didn't even seem to understand what she was getting at when she condemned his invitation of one of the "ringleaders" of the YPG to the White House. That would be Gen. Mazloum Abdi, the commander of the Syrian Democratic Forces, who Trump threw under the bus so Erdogan could invade northern Syria.

Trump ignored the specific question of whether a meeting with Abdi he'd proposed -- on Twitter -- would go forward at all, and also sidestepped her suggestion that such a meeting would be "very offensive and hurtful for the Turkish public." Instead, he pretended he, Abdi, and Erdogan are all pals making peace together. (This is not actually happening.) And really, who's a "terrorist" or a "freedom fighter" anyway?

A lot of that is definition – what's your definition of the various groups within the Kurds. You call the Kurds, and then you have various groups, and some like them and some don't.

Translation: I don't understand any of You People, all you do is fight, so fine, go kill each other you crazy knuckleheads. Then Trump joked that maybe the reporter actually worked for the Turkish government, wouldn't that be funny? But she sure was friendly, and couldn't American reporters be more like that?

Also too, Axios reports today that at an Oval Office meeting with Trump and five Republican senators, Erdogan showed a propaganda film on his iPad depicting America's Kurdish allies in the fight against ISIS as terrorists, an assessment Donald Trump increasingly seems to share -- although mostly he thinks the Kurds are just naturally crazy and violent, and "no angels," like everyone in the Middle East.

Axios reports that following the "clunky" film, Sen. Lindsey Graham asked Erdogan, "Well, do you want me to go get the Kurds to make one about what you've done?" Graham also got into a heated argument with Erdogan over Turkey's invasion -- with Trump's blessing -- of northern Syria, because Erdogan "took exception to Graham using the word 'invasion' and that Graham also rebutted Erdoğan when he claimed that Turkey had fought ISIS."

Strong words for a guy who, before the Oval Office meeting, told reporters he hoped something good could be dug out of the pile of shit Trump and Erdogan have made in northern Syria:

"I've never had an opportunity like this before," Mr. Graham told reporters who were briefly ushered into the room. "I appreciate it. The purpose of this meeting is to have an American civics lesson for our friends in Turkey. And there's a pony in there somewhere if we can find it."

To which Trump quickly replied: "And I think we will."

And just to underline how strongly Graham felt about Erdogan's attacks on the Kurds, he later went back to the Senate and bravely blocked Senate consideration of the House's resolution condemning the Armenian genocide, because Lindsey Graham is one fickle motherfucker. He objected to the resolution with a complete non sequitur, insisting that the Senate shouldn't "sugarcoat history or try to rewrite it." Because just not talking about it is probably a lot better?

There's your pony, President Erdogan! A gift from your bitch, we guess.

Hey, it was a dog and pony show after all! We have to say, though, we prefer the "Friendship is Magic" version.

[CNN / Vox / NYT / Axios / ABC News / The Hill]

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Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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