It's easy to watch things like the press conference yesterday from the law firm of Wackass, Jackass, Windsock and Hairballs, and just laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh.

The end.

Oh oops, sorry. Blog post continues now!

It's easy to watch things like that and forget that, ridiculous as it is, Donald Trump is engaged in a full-blown attempt to steal an election he lost in an absolute fucking landslide, and that he's conscripting members of his lawless authoritarian un-American political party, many of them willingly, to aid and abet him in that process.

On that note, an update on the Michigan shitshow!


When we last left this story, Monica Palmer and William Hartmann, the two Republicans on the Wayne County (Detroit) Board of Canvassers, had refused to certify the presidential election, then caved on that after 300 constituents called them paste-swilling racists for three hours. But then they yelled "I RESCIND!" when they found out Michigan might not be committed to wasting time and resources on deleting Black votes from Detroit just because the Wayne County losers were racist and fascist and triggered.

Of course, Wayne County was already certified at that point, despite how Roodles The Clown declared in his press conference that it was un-certified, because he is a moron and a bad lawyer who thinks yelling "I RESCIND!" is legally binding.

News came out late Thursday that Donald Trump, because he is also racist and fascist and triggered (by how he is a ginormous fucking election loser), is now going up the ladder, to try to interfere with the state-level process of certifying the state's results and choosing its electors. (Remember: Joe Biden won Michigan by around 150,000 votes AKA a whole fuckin' lot.)

So he's invited some powerful GOP state-level jerks to Washington, so he can grab them by the pussy and take them furniture shopping, and, he hopes, convince them to just not certify the election. (Again: Joe Biden won by around 150,000 votes AKA so many votes you'll get sick of votes.)

These aren't the members of the state panel to certify the election, but the highest-ranking GOP members of the state lege:

After failing repeatedly in court to overturn election results, President Trump is taking the extraordinary step of reaching out directly to Republican state legislators as he tries to subvert the Electoral College process, inviting Michigan lawmakers to meet with him at the White House on Friday.

A source with knowledge of the trip said that Mr. Trump would meet with Michigan's Senate majority leader, Mike Shirkey, and speaker of the House, Lee Chatfield, late Friday afternoon.

Like we said, it might be a Rudy Giuliani Special, but they're literally trying to mount a coup.

Both lawmakers are Republicans who have said that whoever has the most votes in Michigan after the results are certified will get the state's 16 electoral votes.

Womp womp. You know, unless Trump convinces them to go full-bore fascist for him.

The New York Times notes that Shirkey said this very week that the legislature overturning the clearly expressed will of Michiganders and just replacing the electors with Trump-sucking sycophants is "not going to happen."

Meanwhile, the Times also reports that Norm Shinkle, a Republican who is on the panel, is just feeling "enormous pressure" about how to vote. Do a coup for President Shitmouth or do his goddamned job and uphold democracy? COUP OR DEMOCRACY? That is the difficult question of Norm Shinkle's sad fucked life, we guess.

So anyway, that's the update. Trump is flying some Michigan men to Washington so he can try to extort/coerce them into doing him a favor, though, Ukraine-style, and he will probably tell him about his fake Michigan Man of the Year award that he made up, and all of this is happening, and it is exhausting.

[New York Times]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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