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SO UNFAIR!


With fewer than 100 days to the general election, the Donald Trump Excuse Machine is revving up. Trump has already warned he might have to skip the debates so Americans won't have to choose between participatory democracy and f'ball, and now he's prepping for a possible loss by pre-splaining that if Americans are somehow foolish enough not to vote for him, then obviously it's because the election will be stolen from him.

At a campaign event in Columbus, Ohio, Monday, Trump warned the crowd, "I'm afraid the election's gonna be rigged, I have to be honest," the second clause of his statement a tacit admission he was lying.

The Trump campaign's chief ratfucker, Roger Stone (who is not "formally employed" by the campaign but just happens to toss out ideas that coincidentally match up with whatever has been dripping from Trump's brainholes), helped set expectations last week that come this fall, the goddamn elites will steal the election. In a podcast last Friday from Dead Breitbart's House Of Paranoia, hosted by professional shit-stirrer Milo Yiannopoulos, Stone explained voter fraud is simply an enormous problem, an indisputable fact already familiar to every rightwinger:

“I think your audience knows, I think we all know, that in this day and age, a computer can do anything. These voter machines are essentially a computer. Who is to say they could not be rigged?” asked Stone on the topic of voter fraud [...]

“I have no doubt that after the last election, when Karl Rove, who was George Bush’s campaign manager and a Romney partisan, insisted that ‘no no, your numbers have to be wrong,’ he said on Fox, ‘Romney definitely carried Ohio,’ and the reason he was so certain is because it was bought and paid for,” he claimed. “He knew the fix was supposed to be in. Therefore I can only conclude that sometimes things don’t stay bought, and perhaps Obama came in with a better offer.”

Well, yes, that makes perfect sense. Because otherwise Rove would have merely been an idiot who was deeply in denial, and how could that possibly be the case? [Editrix here. Have to say I agree with Stone on half of it; Anonymous took credit for unratfucking the tubes, though SOME EVIDENCE MIGHT HAVE BEEN NICE.] Stone followed up his evidence-free comments with some advice for Donald Trump:

“I think we have widespread voter fraud, but the first thing that Trump needs to do is begin talking about it constantly,” Stone said. “He needs to say for example, today would be a perfect example: ‘I am leading in Florida. The polls all show it. If I lose Florida, we will know that there’s voter fraud. If there’s voter fraud, this election will be illegitimate, the election of the winner will be illegitimate, we will have a constitutional crisis, widespread civil disobedience, and the government will no longer be the government.’”

“If you can’t have an honest election, nothing else counts,” he continued. “I think he’s gotta put them on notice that their inauguration will be a rhetorical, and when I mean civil disobedience, not violence, but it will be a bloodbath. The government will be shut down if they attempt to steal this and swear Hillary in. No, we will not stand for it. We will not stand for it.”

Look, Stone is not calling for a bloodbath if Hillary Clinton "wins" the election, he's merely saying it could happen, and reminding Donald Trump that the elections could be rigged, maybe. Also, maybe now would be the time to stock up on more guns and ammo, what with the coming bloodbath that Stone is definitely not calling for.

So hey, it's a really big surprise that suddenly Donald Trump is talking about the national elections being rigged against him, maybe.

Do we really need to say voter fraud is so rare that it's virtually nonexistent? We would, but then again, that link is to the New York Times, which some people think is journalism but which Donald Trump knows is failing and nothing but lies. Seriously, democracy is a fraud and America is dead so you should go buy guns. NOW, GODDAMNIT! GO!

[TPM / Breitbart / NYT]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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