Sorry for screaming, but honestly we have no chill right now. None. Zero.

Yesterday a New York court found that Donald Trump -- who spent five years spewing lies about the Clinton Global Initiative, which is one of the most effective charities in the world and has helped hundreds of thousands of people -- systematically violated New York State's charity laws for years on end. You can read the decision right here.

As a director of the Foundation, Mr. Trump owed fiduciary duties to the Foundation, pursuant to N-PCL § 717; he was a trustee of the Foundation's charitable assets and was thereby responsible for the proper administration of these assets, pursuant to EPTL § 8-1.4. A review of the record, including the factual admissions in the Final Stipulation, establishes that Mr. Trump breached his fiduciary duty to the Foundation and that waste occurred to the Foundation.

When New York Supreme Court Justice Saliann Scarpulla says you breached your fiduciary duty, she means you are guilty of breaking the law.

President Pisspants immediately took to Twitter to beat his saggy breast in rage, howling, "All they found was incredibly effective philanthropy and some small, technical violations, such as not keeping board minutes." Donald Trump is lying.

He used $20,000 of charitable funds to buy a six-foot tall portrait of himself to hang at one of his clubs.

He used charitable funds to satisfy a $158,000 legal judgement incurred when he stiffed a player who got a hole-in-one at a contest at his Westchester, New York, golf course.

He used $12,000 to buy a signed Tim Tebow helmet.

He used $10,000 in charitable funds to buy yet another portrait of himself, this one only four feet high, and parked it at another of his golf clubs.

He used $100,000 to satisfy municipal fines for for Mar-a-Lago.

He used $5,000 of charitable funds to buy advertising for his company in programs for the non-profit DC Preservation League.

He used $25,000 of charitable funds to make an illegal contribution to Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi's re-election campaign, after which she dropped a prosecution of Trump University. Convenient!

He used $264,000 in charitable funds to refurbish a fountain outside the Trump Plaza Hotel in New York, calling it a "gift" to the Central Park Conservancy.

FFS, when Don Jr. was 11 years old, Trump used $7 from the foundation to pay his bratty kid's Boy Scout dues!

With the possible exception of the fountain, not a single one of these items is a legitimate use of charitable dollars because Trump himself received an actual benefit from the transaction. It's like claiming to have donated to charity because you bought a cupcake at the church bake sale -- they got the money, and you got the sugar rush. But all these self-dealing transactions pale in comparison to the scam that sumbitch pulled in the lead-up to the 2016 election.

In January of 2016, when Candidate Trump was flagging in the polls, he decided to skip the debates in Iowa. Instead Brad Parscale set up DonaldTrumpForVets.com, added the website to their signage, and hey, presto! that campaign rally in Iowa magically became a "fundraiser" for veterans.

Screenshot from original Complaint

Remember these tacky-ass prop checks he "presented" to charities at campaign rallies? Not one penny of that was money donated by Donald Trump. In fact, none of the Trumps have donated to the Donald J. Trump Foundation since 2008. Instead they dumped the $2.8 million in MAGA donations into Trump's "charity," and then he handed the foundation's checkbook over to campaign manager Corey Lewandowski to parcel out every time they needed to buy some good publicity. Which is NOT A CHARITABLE PURPOSE.

As Justice Scarpulla said:

Mr. Trump's fiduciary duty breaches included allowing his campaign to orchestrate the Fundraiser, allowing his campaign, instead of the Foundation, to direct distribution of the Funds, and using the Fundraiser and distribution of the Funds to further Mr. Trump's political campaign

That's not "small technical violations," it's gross misappropriation, which is why Justice Scarpulla just fined him $2 million. So all that shit he just tweeted out about being "happy to donate $2 million to the following worthy charities" is an absolute lie. Here's what the court really ordered.

However, taking into consideration that the Funds did ultimately reach their intended destinations, i.e., charitable organizations supporting veterans, I award damages on the breach of fiduciary duty/waste claim against Mr. Trump in the amount of $2,000,000, without interest, rather than the entire $2,823,000 sought by the Attorney General. Further, because the parties have agreed to dissolve the Foundation, I direct Mr. Trump to pay the $2,000,000, which would have gone to the Foundation if it were still in existence, on a pro rata basis to the Approved Recipients.

In plain English, Donald Trump expropriated $2,823,000 of charitable money for his own campaign purposes, but he did eventually give the money to charity. (After being hounded by reporters.) In light of that, Justice Scarpulla knocked $823,000 off his fine, leaving him with just $2 million in liability. Normally, he would owe that cash to the Foundation. But they've all consented to dissolve the Foundation, with a Stipulation that the Trump family agrees "to not contest the Dissolution Causes of Action" -- i.e. they admit they did it. DJ, Eric and Vanky had to take a remedial charity class so they could still do rich people stuff, and if Poppy Trump ever wants to sit on the board of a charity in New York, he'll have to go to night school, too. Since the Foundation no longer exists, Trump was ordered to pay that $2 million penalty to actual charities, which should be a new and different experience for him!

And now this narcissistic plague on the earth, who contributed ZERO DOLLARS to his own foundation in the past eleven years, despite claiming to be a "billionaire," is screaming about the Clinton Foundation and whining like a spoiled toddler that, "I am the only person I know, perhaps the only person in history, who can give major money to charity ($19M), charge no expense, and be attacked by the political hacks in New York State."

Frankly, this is just too, too much to take. UN. FUCKING. REAL.

[NY v. Trump, Order / WaPo / Wonkette photoshoop based on "Fun With Particulates" by David Goehring, Creative Commons license 2.0. The actual babby is very cute!]

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Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.


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