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Another day, another court kicking Donald Trump in the dick. You love to see it! This time it's the Second Circuit, which ordered Deutsche Bank and Capital One to fork over Trump's financials in response to a House subpoena. That means we have two nut-crushers to update you on, since we we never even got to the DC Circuit telling former White House counsel Don McGahn yesterday to quit stalling and TESTIFY, BITCH. Only Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson phrased it as a Memorandum Opinion and Order Denying DOJ's Motion for a Stay Pending Appeal, because she's not a vulgar yuckmouth like some people!

Which should settle the matter, but you know that whiner in the White House will just shout ARTICLE TWO!!! ARTICLE TWO!!! like he knows what it means, and force his attorneys to dump the same shit on the Supreme Court's doorstep that failed at every other court where they tried to pass it off as Shinola. He's betting it all on Chief Justice John Roberts -- and he just might be right.

OYEZ!


Trump v. Deutsche Bank and Capital One

This is the case where the House Financial Services and Intelligence committees subpoenaed Trump and his businesses' financials, and the president flipped his shit. Strangely, SDNY Judge Edgardo Ramos was unpersuaded by Trump's very serious legal arguments that OVERSIGHT IS ILLEGAL and DEMOCRATS ARE MEAN and NO LEGISLATIVE PURPOSE and something something Right to Financial Privacy Act, which ... does not apply to Congress, womp womp.

The Second Circuit wasn't buying it either, holding that the risk of distracting Trump from his very important Twitter duties is outweighed by Congress's obligation to do its damn job.

The Committees' interests in pursuing their constitutional legislative function is a far more significant public interest than whatever public interest inheres in avoiding the risk of a Chief Executive's distraction arising from disclosure of documents reflecting his private financial transactions.

Nixon had time to turn over his tapes, Clinton had time to sit for Paula Jones's deposition, and Commander Golf Pants has time to quit fucking around and let his bankers respond to a House subpoena. And if Trump's failspawn don't want their AmEx bills to wind up in Rep. Maxine Waters's inbox, they can take it up with Judge Ramos. Don't look at us, Eric's the one that said it!

The ruling is on hold for seven days to give Trump an opportunity to appeal to SCOTUS.

House Judiciary Committee v. McGahn

Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson has had enough of the DOJ's bullshit. She's not giving the Justice Department any more time to dick around over Don McGahn's testimony, and their argument that the House can't effectively question McGahn without getting the underlying Mueller grand jury materials seems to have pushed Her Honor right over the edge. It's not every day that a federal judge says a Justice Department brief is "disingenuous, and therefore, is unpersuasive."

[I]t is indisputable that the Judiciary Committee has consistently sought access to materials and testimony with respect to its investigation of the circumstances that underlie the Mueller Report, and it is DOJ's appeal that has created a delay in the execution of Chief Judge Howell's order requiring that unredacted copies of the grand jury materials be turned over to the Committee. Thus, DOJ's argument here that any further delay will not be harmful to the Judiciary Committee because, in essence, DOJ has already harmed the Committee's interests by successfully delaying its access to other materials strikes this Court as an unacceptable mischaracterization of the injury at issue.

Let's translate that into English! The DOJ appealing the order to give Congress the Mueller grand jury materials and then claiming that McGahn can't possibly testify until their appeal is resolved is like Lyle and Erik Menendez throwing themselves on the mercy of the court because they are but poor, orphaned young lads.

Conversely, allowing the White House to stall until Congress concludes its impeachment investigation is a REAL harm. So Don McGahn can get his scrawny ass down to Congress and start talking.

This Court has no doubt that further delay of the Judiciary Committee's enforcement of its valid subpoena causes grave harm to both the Committee's investigation and the interests of the public more broadly. This is because, as the Court explained in its Memorandum Opinion, "when a committee of Congress seeks testimony and records by issuing a valid subpoena in the context of a duly authorized investigation, it has the Constitution's blessing, and ultimately, it is acting not in its own interest, but for the benefit of the People of the United States."

If the DOJ wants a stay, they can take it up with the DC Circuit.

So, Now What?

Now we find out if Chief Justice Roberts cares more about the rule of law or boosting Donald Trump's presidency. My guess is that he votes to grant certiorari and then orders Trump to turn it all over ... some time in 2021. Have to wait and see.

[Trump v. Deutsche Bank / Committee on the Judiciary v. McGahn]

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Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.

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