Trump Going Full 'Sunset Boulevard,' Gonna Start Own Social Media Platform Now

Trump Going Full 'Sunset Boulevard,' Gonna Start Own Social Media Platform Now

Donald Trump faceswapped with Norma Desmond (I am so sorry)

Oh boy, we've now reached the stage of Donald Trump's life in exile where he's going to keep trying to do a comeback. One would think, given that he owns a hotel in Vegas, that'd he'd just do the Cher thing and set up a residency there where he can do a stage show with all his greatest hits every night for the next ten years. Surely Ivanka could help him pick out some appropriately bedazzled ensembles.

But that would probably be just a little too dignified.

Trump senior advisor Jason Miller told Fox News's #MediaBuzz on Sunday that the former Twitter addict is planning on starting his very own social media platform, and will be debuting it in the next two to three months.

"I do think that we're going to see President Trump returning to social media in probably about two or three months here, with his own platform," Trump senior adviser Jason Miller told Fox News' "#MediaBuzz" on Sunday. "And this is something that I think will be the hottest ticket in social media, it's going to completely redefine the game, and everybody is going to be waiting and watching to see what exactly President Trump does."

Miller said he was unable to provide much more in terms of details at this point, but he did reveal that Trump has been having "high-powered meetings" at Mar-a-Lago with various teams regarding the venture, and that "numerous companies" have approached Trump.

"This new platform is going to be big," Miller said, predicting that Trump will draw "tens of millions of people."

It's gonna be bigger than peanut butter!

So does that mean it's going to be in competition with the MyPillow Guy's social media site that will print out all the YouTubes? Or are they going to be in cahoots? It's really tough to figure out how this is going to work, what with there already being 85,000 janky right-wing alternatives to Twitter and Facebook that no one really cares about all that much.

The fact is, there's a reason none of these sites have lived up to their promises of totally taking over Twitter or Facebook, and that most have not even lasted that long. It's not just because they have trouble securing and keeping cloud space, maintaining relationships with hosting companies and payment processors or getting and staying on the app stores — all issues Trump's hypothetical social media site would face. It's that a right-wing social media site is not all that fun, even for conservatives.

I mean. If you TOTALLY DESTROY feminism in a forest and there are no feminists around to hear about it ...

The only cohesive conservative philosophy these days is "owning the libs." It's not something they ever necessarily achieve, but I imagine it would feel pretty pointless to try doing that on a site where there are no "libs" to own. I mean, what are they gonna do? They're not that interesting. And while it might be a great time for them to try to make Twitter miserable for everyone, it's probably not too fun to sit around in their own filth all day. That probably gets old after a while. And there are tons of messageboards around that serve that same purpose while providing a sense of "community" that these attempts at making a right-wing Twitter never do.

Oh. Also it's super hard to have the biggest and best social media site when the only people who want to go on there are right-wing trolls who can't hack it on Twitter.

Republicans really don't tend to be early adopters of things that catch on with other people.

The irony, of course, would be if Trump actually did start a social media site that "tens of millions of people" signed up for, and then Republicans somehow managed to fulfill his dream of getting rid of Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act. Because then he could be held responsible for anything defamatory or libelous anyone said on his platform, and given the types it might tend to attract, he could theoretically end up losing a lot of money that way. And possibly his very mind.

But odds are, this is all talk, and he's just putting this out there because he thinks he's going to scare Twitter and Facebook into letting him back on their platforms.

Good luck!

[Fox News]

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Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse


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